Sunday, December 16, 2007

Marriages made in heaven...

As a child, 14th April was the deadline by which we had to reach Trichur (for the uninitiated a place in Kerala) in the summer hols. It was my maternal grandfather's (Appachan) birthday & every year it was celebrated with great pomp & grandeur. All of us remembered Appachan's b'day. But many didn't realise that Ammachi even had one.

One day, on telling Ammachi this, she told me that Appachan also complained about the same thing. Further her b'day was at a time which did not clash with any holidays. & then he had told her that he would do something so that people will remember her b'day.....A few years later he died on her b'day. Appachan did what he promised. People now remember Ammachi's b'day. Because of his popularity in the business community, even business associates remember.

This for me was love in its purest form. They had seen the highs and lows of life. Been there for each other for nearly 50 years. I then see my folks- 2 totally contrasting personalities who have been with each other through thick and thin for 30 years. And there were just two people in these relationships.

Circa 2007. I see people around me. Some with a string of flings behind them, some seeking non-commital sexual relationships (the bastard* didnt want to pay for a service i presume), dangerously flirtatious married people, now with Mr, with Mr Y a few weeks later and these are your average Indians. Am I getting too cynical or am I expecting too much from the world or are we getting too westernised or am I too old fashioned? what happened to marriages like that of Appachan-Ammachi or Dad-Mum?

Call me boring & old fashioned, but i do have a problem in equating sex with just another physical need or a favour for a promotion..

Wedding season has set in. For Xtians starting 26th December all churches, priests, florists, couturiers, saloons etc will get busy. I got the news that my best friend and ex-colleague got married, another cousin is getting engaged (& yet another pregnant & one had a baby-all of them younger to me..sigh!). Some arranged by family and some self-serviced marriages. I am happy for all of them. Hope all ur marriages are like my Appachan-Ammachi’s or Dad-Mum’s and may u live 'happily ever after'.....

* I do not generally swear, but here I think it is justified.


roflin said...

Whom should i thank for this glory,
Of having seen a thousand suns rise in your eyes,
For all the times we have been beside,
Wish I could set like that sun in your eyes,
Of the children, of the shoulder, of all the gifts in life,
How should I thank you for all the love in your eyes,
For the times ahead, for the times behind,
Thanks for being my heart and mind,
Love and marriage never felt so divine,
Just as the first time your eyes met mine..

Ankit said...

Hey for me marriage season means lots of good dinner. But sadly since last 4-5 years i have attended only 4-5 marriages :((

Rainman said...

"Circa 2007. I see people around me. Some with a string of flings behind them, some seeking non-committal sexual relationships (the bastard* didn't want to pay for a service i presume), dangerously flirtatious married people, now with Mr X, with Mr Y a few weeks later and these are your average Indians."
Aren't you being a little too critical of social life around you?

neermathalam said...

:) spoke ma mind..

Happy Kitten said...

a very refreshing thought from the current generation...

Yes marriages are made in heaven and I am sure you will have a perfect one too.. just dont give up

Raghu Ram Prasad said...

Some what our culture need changes...Some believe that marriages are made in heaven

Macadamia The Nut said...

Reminds me of my favourite song by John Lennon. It's called 'Imagine'

mathew said...

it is really gladdening to see that there are still people around who think that new cool style of fling living is audacious..i better be old fashioned there like u greetings too...

N A R I YA L C H U T N E Y said...

We rifle through our past to find benchmarks that allow us to measure the distance we have travelled since. The nostalgia for the past is the assertive celebration of the present.It is not being about old fashioned or conservative but it is about engaging our current frame of mind with our own past and rediscovering the magic that we did not quite grasp when we went through it the first time. All type of people co exist but hopefully all the people we know will live "Happily ever after " after the marriage :D

Unknown said...
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eljo said...

oops! forgot to comment on this one. you got me all emotional with Appachan & Ammachi. Anyways theirs was one of a kind relationship. You remember them fighting abt the fishtank ??? ;-P

anN-series said...

that was lovely..i think i will cut copy paste it as a post!!

i missed many breakfasts, lunches, dinners this year all because of being away from india

i am a slow learner, jus getting used to all these changes around me. i was extremely pissed at a few things the day i posted this.


@ happy kitten
thank u..let me also try and think positive :~)

@raghu ram prasad
our culture is changing.

baby another common factor..imagine is one of my fav songs too...

@ mathew
so i am not the only 'ammachi-minded' person around :~P

@nariyal chutney
I am generally a peaceful 'co-exister'. may be my mood the day i posted this reflected very clearly in my post.

@ eljo
i remember it all-fishtank, appachans chappati v.rice diet, YWCA v. vyaparavijayam. funny couple they were. :~)

Mark IV said...

aah... trust me i could never ever forget ur bday.... divine lauve you say??? :D

germinal dreamer said...

2nd blog post i read this year and I see a post with the exact same title but in my blog domain.
Neatly written. Its easy to get over critical about things that are beyond our reach. I have been that way since I ever left my motherland. But then I have realised that whats right and whats wrong, unless its a math problem, has more than one answer. It changes with time and depends on culture and few other similar factors. But yeah I cant agree more with you on this one. Your grand parents, your parents and mine are just amazing egs.. now it seems the 'society' is suddenly getting depleted with such egs like fossil fuels!

Alameen said...

that was a really touching one..

Aiswarya said...

Lovely lovely lovely... The bit about your granddad, telling the Mrs and doing the same thing. In my family, I had an old couple die on the same day, can you believe it! As soon as the wife heard about the husband death, she was gone!

No, you not old fashioned. It apparently so happens that the same peeps who does all this regrets it at a later date!! So no, it isn’t like how they are any different to us!