Friday, December 21, 2007

Dear Santa...

Dear Santa,

Your gift for this Christmas orphan was purrfect. This proves that I have been a good girl this year. I am not going to be lonely for Christmas. :~). But I also know that I am the punishment you are giving that couple in Amsterdam for being very naughty this year. ;~)

!!!Merry Christmas Everyone!!!!

PS: Mum i am missing your plum cake and that famous mallu Ann's bakery cake still makes me nauseous.
PPS: New year resolution- to stop laughing like a hynea...

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Marriages made in heaven...

As a child, 14th April was the deadline by which we had to reach Trichur (for the uninitiated a place in Kerala) in the summer hols. It was my maternal grandfather's (Appachan) birthday & every year it was celebrated with great pomp & grandeur. All of us remembered Appachan's b'day. But many didn't realise that Ammachi even had one.

One day, on telling Ammachi this, she told me that Appachan also complained about the same thing. Further her b'day was at a time which did not clash with any holidays. & then he had told her that he would do something so that people will remember her b'day.....A few years later he died on her b'day. Appachan did what he promised. People now remember Ammachi's b'day. Because of his popularity in the business community, even business associates remember.

This for me was love in its purest form. They had seen the highs and lows of life. Been there for each other for nearly 50 years. I then see my folks- 2 totally contrasting personalities who have been with each other through thick and thin for 30 years. And there were just two people in these relationships.

Circa 2007. I see people around me. Some with a string of flings behind them, some seeking non-commital sexual relationships (the bastard* didnt want to pay for a service i presume), dangerously flirtatious married people, now with Mr, with Mr Y a few weeks later and these are your average Indians. Am I getting too cynical or am I expecting too much from the world or are we getting too westernised or am I too old fashioned? what happened to marriages like that of Appachan-Ammachi or Dad-Mum?

Call me boring & old fashioned, but i do have a problem in equating sex with just another physical need or a favour for a promotion..

Wedding season has set in. For Xtians starting 26th December all churches, priests, florists, couturiers, saloons etc will get busy. I got the news that my best friend and ex-colleague got married, another cousin is getting engaged (& yet another pregnant & one had a baby-all of them younger to me..sigh!). Some arranged by family and some self-serviced marriages. I am happy for all of them. Hope all ur marriages are like my Appachan-Ammachi’s or Dad-Mum’s and may u live 'happily ever after'.....

* I do not generally swear, but here I think it is justified.

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Unique-ly yours!!

(yay! my first tag)..listening to Blue Danube Waltz celebrating the end of my first term....

Tagged by agent Egg Bonda (because of whom i hv watched Sound of Music 4 times in the past 2 weeks), i am expected to disclose unique things i possess.

i dont possess anything unique as Chech. (but i shall steal some of them this Xmas and make my room unique) But I think the sentimental value associated with some of them is wat makes them 'unique'..atleast to me.

5 Unique Things Found in My Room

1) A rosary which i picked up from the one and only retreat centre (in and around Trichur) i visited in my life.
2) An old dupatta of Mum's which she gave me to use as a rag(!!!). But it is not yet used as rag..guess i am getting emotionally attached to it.
3) 3 different plastic bags for 1) biodegradable waste, 2) glass and plastics, 3) paper [environment friendly Ann :~) ]
4) Brochures and pamphlets which are invitation to college parties, tube farelist, day trips out of london, tabloids containing lousy gossip which i use as coasters and tablemats.
5) A tastelessly done collage containing pics of my close friends and family. (also revealing the gradual increase in my weight over the years)

5 Unique Things Found in My Wallet

1) My college Id card which entitles me to highly important things like discount at Subway & other eateries, tube etc. and entry to half the buildings in college.
2) Some Austrailan 'chillar' (change) which i have been carrying with me ever since my eventful trip to Melbourne 2 yrs ago.
3) A very old visiting card of Dad's in the hope that his presence will forever be on my wallet (okay at least till next year)
4) Rs. 130 given by Dad at the airport just in case i wanted to get anything at the airport.
5) A note from sis wishing me 'Good luck in London' which came in the pocket of my 'life-saving-in-winter' jacket that she sent me.

5 Unique Things Found in My Bag

1) A copy of 'London A to Z' (which i never consult to navigate my way through this city as I have always managed to get lost with it) and college map (why have classrooms in various nearby buildings too)
2) A windcheater. It rains anytime and everytime here or at least wenever i am in the 'exploring' mood.
3) Black ink pen and passport size fotos. Thanx to the englishmen's fixation for 'black ink pen' for completing practically every form. The foto is back up option as many a times i was made to queue up again because i didnt have a foto!
4) The 17 yr old watch which was actually gifted to my sister wen she was 10. I upsurped it & wore that to all my exams. Its like a goodluck charm. However now only the dial is left. NO strap, no battery.
5) My room key which works on some weird technology that most of the time either i am locked out or everyone expect me can open the door.

So thats wat is 'un-uniquely unique' abt me...

Sunday, December 09, 2007

Dream to dare

(for ppl in the real world [as contrasted with the blogosphere] who know me this post will leave them in splits)
In my dreams…

I am a wild girl constantly ‘living on the edge’ or a biker babe. Myself dressed in the trademark riding jacket, boots, gloves, waterproof jeans, helmet et al…(zzzzzippp- fastening my jacket) zooming past the motorways. Going on a road trip on my bike…zzzzoooommm…..


I am a don’s moll, constantly showered with costly gifts by my gangster-drug dealer Don. In the dimly lit-with neon-lamps discotheques which my Don owns I shall give my special sexy performance (where I will be wearing a gold sequined slinky dress and high heels). And in a room in the top floor, Don shall be threatening a middleman for messing with the cocaine consignment and eventually shooting him point blank. Of course I am also having an affair with the doorkeeper of the disc.(wonder y but even in reality I find the disc doorkeepers with their long overcoats, blue tooth devices/bugs(I think that’s wat they are called) in their ear and stern face so hot!)


I am a Baywatch lifeguard. In this particular dream I am blonde (Pamelaji ki Jai!!). Wearing the red swimsuit, standing on my watchtower keeping an eye on the beach with my yellow binoculars. And when I hear the frantic call ‘help! help!’ I make the dramatic 'slow-motion' run towards the water and rescue him. Of course later myself and hunk (who I jus rescued) go on a date and then kiss with the sunset in the background.

In real life…
A law student trying to finish her reading before class, understand wat is being told in class, (as incomplete readings lead to incomplete comprehension), hope to clear her exams and get a job with her new found postgraduate status. Adventure quotient- nil, Social life- practically nil, Party scene- nil, Love life- what is that?

I cannot handle a normal TVS Scooty, forget handling a superbike. Infact I can’t even ride a bike. Drugs, deals, dons petrify me. I haven’t been to a disc/bar unless accompanied by brother-in-law or sister (and I also have the dubious distinction of being the only one landing up in track pants on a Friday nite) Imagine the sight of me introducing my doorkeeper boyfriend to my folks (i.e. if the Don spares us both). Red swimsuits and tanned bodies- my attempts at learning how to swim ended with me being highly hydrophobic, so much so that even a powerful bathroom shower can scare me off. And I will be charged for the offence of obscenity and indecent representation of women if I try to fit into a swimsuit and run. (huff pant pant…)

The closest I got to an exciting life was wen I was caught by the receptionist returning back to my hall on this early Saturday morning (the first time ever). Trying to sneak in without waking him up, I tip toe into the hall when
Receptionist: Hello young lady
Me: (deer caught by a headlight look) ooh! Hi good morning..
R: Well it sure is a good morning for u, isn’t it? (giving a cheeky smile looking like 'i caught u coming back from ur boyfriend's place')
Me: (trying to act brave, simultaneously walking to the door)..hahaha..well then have a nice day..
R: u sure did have a nice day afterall right… (nodding cheeky smile again)
Me: (by then ran up to my room)
[I let him live in the misconception that he is in, little does he know that I was at my friend’s place last nite and cudnt get a bus back from her shady area!!! At least somebody thinks I have a happening life!]

Sunday, December 02, 2007

I amsterdAM!

Kehte hain agar kisi cheez ko dil se chaho toh poori kaynaat usey tumse milane ki koshish mein lag jaati hai....

After reading The Alchemist, I did start believing in destiny. I do look out for signs. Ever since I reached London, the thing on my mind, after (‘wat to eat for the next meal’) was when I will be invited to Amsterdam by Chech and husband, Chettan(ok I correct myself-wen i will get a 'relatively' free weekend to go-the it ws an open invitation). I wished for it ‘poore dil se’ and did have an eventful trip….

Sign 1- My visa was processed in 5 hours contrary to the regular practice of 24 hours. All thanx to over cautious approach to the documents by sister and the kind lady at the counter. (also thanks Dad for all money invested in my dental braces for my charming smile-I brushed my teeth twice that money). Although I had to spend the entire day in beautiful-in-autumn Kensington Garden without a camera and became frozen meat due to insufficient dressing, (I dressed according to central London weather!) the wait was worth it. I proudly called up Chech saying- Breakfast in London, dinner in Amsterdam.

Sign 2- Woken up at 9 for a class at 10 by Chech, I was warned to not be late for the flight. According to my calculations, to reach Heathrow at 3.15 I had to take the 2.15 tube. Reaching the platform I was reminded of Rajiv Chowk metro station!!! There was not an inch of space left all thanx to maintainece work on Picadilly Line. But 3 yrs Delhi Metro experience and a few months exposure to Mumbai Local, I was the first to get into the tube.

A journey which was to last for 50 minutes, took 90 minutes. Then the real action began. Everyone at Terminal 4 on that day would have testified that they saw a crazy Indian girl running about the terminal between 15.45 hrs to 16.15 hrs on 16 Nov 2007.

Ran out of the tube, hit a few passers-by, dropped a glove, ran back to collect it, took the lift, ran to the BA counter, looked puzzled at the boarding pass ‘vending’ machine only to be helped by a customer services member.

Running to the security line and I met an interesting man who was blocking my way while I was trying to pass him, on being asked, told him my flight takes of at 16.05! Good enough to let me ahead, we were stuck at the counter. Took out laptop, metallic things on person, jacket, i-pod, cell fone (which rang while in the X-machine-making me look suspicious to the English cop), shoes…(the next time they might just expect us to strip right there). During this entire exercise, the interesting man tells me BA will put me on the next flight and there was a huge public transport problem in central London.

Ran (again) to the BA counter to be told to run FASTER to gate #. With only Indian airport experience, I expect gates to be in one line, each at a distance of 10 baby steps apart. But run as much I did, gate # was far far away.

Reached the gate (pant huff puff!!). Sardar BA official called up the pilot and then turned to me saying Miss Jose (pronouncing it HOSSEY- I am not Hispanic plz plz) “u jus missed ur flight”. [Come on dude u can do something, u Indian, me Indian..but how wud u know I am Indian, u keep calling me HOSSEY!!]

Chech called “Are u in the flight…no…it says ‘last call’..u can still catch it
Chech I missed the flight
“…………….silence…………” (Thinking- how many times have I told her to be on time)
Well they told me go to flight connections
Ok..bye” (Thinking- my money!!)

Chettan- “Don’t worry..u take the next flight. If need be buy a ticket for the next flight
what…are u sure?...ok” (Thinking- The next flight only has business class, cheapest being GBP 385, I don’t think he checked it)

Running (yet again) to flight connections, I put up the famous ‘damsel in distress’ act- explaining to them how I was harassed by the Piccadilly line, its maintenance and Indian style tardiness. The act successful, I was put on the next flight with no extra charges but with a warning that the tube is not trustworthy and I should learn from this lesson.

Dad- “So u r on ur flight to meet chechi
Dad I missed my flight
“……silence……” (Thinking- eeh kochine kondu thotu- basically this girl has crossed all limits)
but I have been put on the next flight and that’s an hour later
ok…but are u in a safe place??? "
huh??...Dad airport terminal…duty free of course” (Thinking- its Heathow ppl ppl everywhere)
Oh ok then, DON’T MISS UR NEXT FLIGHT” (Thinking- She in a dutyfree shop is not a safe place for me especially when her monthly bill comes)

Sign 3
I amsterdAM!!!!

Moral of the story: “When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it”....Apart from this ‘want’, I also had the desire to overcome my laziness and start exercising. That was also fulfilled on this trip- in A’dam, I ran behind buses, trams, trains and even a PLANE!!

End mein sab theek ho jaata hai…Happys Endings!!!

for pics (if interested) check out-
(i am just a rookie though)