Blogging frequency has become dismally low [like anyone cares, but still] these days as I serve the society as a corporate lawyer by raising bills on firangs. I am no more ‘just a student’ and since (wo)manhours are being billed, I chose to something more productive (but if I am showered with comments I will choose blogging over billing). So everyday Annie McBeal packs herself to the office and does wonders!! Here is an excerpt of what my certificate will be:
XYZ Associates
Certificate
TO WHOMSOEVER IT MAY CONCERN*
XYZ Associates
Certificate
TO WHOMSOEVER IT MAY CONCERN*
(* we dont except anybody to be concerned abt her)
Miss Annie Macbeal worked with us for the past____months. Listed below are the wonders she ‘performed’ during her stint at XYZ Associates.
Wonder 1- Dress Code
Annie McBeal is the only person in office who wears jeans on a weekday. On other days she obliges the firm by wearing Indian formals. But in that she appears to the client like a social worker striving for the cause of the downtrodden and destitute and not like a hard core mercenary willing to help firangs sell nuts, bolts, lubricants, plastics in India. She still carries a ‘backpack’ in contrast to a boring ‘formal’ bag and wears ‘funky’ socks instead of classy silk stockings. Her hair is in dire need of an ‘iron’ or at least a comb.
Wonder 2- Body Language
Annie Mcbeal is the classic case of ‘rebel without a cause’. She looks like a college student who has still not left her ‘glorious’ past behind. Her sitting posture resembles a Ramdev aasan. In her first month at office, to show her displeasure at a delayed pay cheque, she broke a chair. She breaks into a jig on solving a query. A complete clean freak it is not surprising to see her frequently cleaning the keyboard, mouse and office stationery with sanitizing lotion. [Warning: She needs to seek medical help on this issue] She needs to hone her choice of mobile ringtones, ‘Sexy back’ is ‘cacophonous, jarring sound’ affecting the office environment (I know sexyback is now passé..but that’s till I get some time to download a more “cacophonous” sound).
Wonder 3- Work culture
Annie McBeal has absolutely no clue of what she is doing in office. Her knowledge of corporate law at present is zilch and we are not contemplating or expecting any change in this regard in the ‘far’ future either. She can draft something, however we attribute this to her excellent talent at ‘cut, copy, pasting’. She gets jittery on meeting a client and in the process manages to get clumsier. Her patent dialogue to client is ‘We will have to ask boss about this. We shall get back to you in some time’. All in all she is our Bridget Jones.
To conclude, it was a delight having Annie McBeal in our office and it is BIGGER delight NOT HAVING her in the office. We wish all her future bosses good luck and success in all their endeavors.
Sd/-
XXXXX
Partner
Miss Annie Macbeal worked with us for the past____months. Listed below are the wonders she ‘performed’ during her stint at XYZ Associates.
Wonder 1- Dress Code
Annie McBeal is the only person in office who wears jeans on a weekday. On other days she obliges the firm by wearing Indian formals. But in that she appears to the client like a social worker striving for the cause of the downtrodden and destitute and not like a hard core mercenary willing to help firangs sell nuts, bolts, lubricants, plastics in India. She still carries a ‘backpack’ in contrast to a boring ‘formal’ bag and wears ‘funky’ socks instead of classy silk stockings. Her hair is in dire need of an ‘iron’ or at least a comb.
Wonder 2- Body Language
Annie Mcbeal is the classic case of ‘rebel without a cause’. She looks like a college student who has still not left her ‘glorious’ past behind. Her sitting posture resembles a Ramdev aasan. In her first month at office, to show her displeasure at a delayed pay cheque, she broke a chair. She breaks into a jig on solving a query. A complete clean freak it is not surprising to see her frequently cleaning the keyboard, mouse and office stationery with sanitizing lotion. [Warning: She needs to seek medical help on this issue] She needs to hone her choice of mobile ringtones, ‘Sexy back’ is ‘cacophonous, jarring sound’ affecting the office environment (I know sexyback is now passé..but that’s till I get some time to download a more “cacophonous” sound).
Wonder 3- Work culture
Annie McBeal has absolutely no clue of what she is doing in office. Her knowledge of corporate law at present is zilch and we are not contemplating or expecting any change in this regard in the ‘far’ future either. She can draft something, however we attribute this to her excellent talent at ‘cut, copy, pasting’. She gets jittery on meeting a client and in the process manages to get clumsier. Her patent dialogue to client is ‘We will have to ask boss about this. We shall get back to you in some time’. All in all she is our Bridget Jones.
To conclude, it was a delight having Annie McBeal in our office and it is BIGGER delight NOT HAVING her in the office. We wish all her future bosses good luck and success in all their endeavors.
Sd/-
XXXXX
Partner
9 comments:
hahaha... love the body language bit... think all delhiites have that me been told the same shit. Though trust me spunk up the formal dressing sense. You will not kno the joy of bending the rules when you are prone to breaking them...
inspirational... farsan will think on the same lines soon..
aaah... cmon.. u aint that bad... its jus probably not the perfect fit profession you chose... try 'serial killer with sledge hammer'. the perfect fit (theres always a dearth of ann-o-saurus)
Hillarious!!!
How do you manage to come up with these Minu?! n I thought I heard someone say that There ain't anything amusing happening in life!!
phew! Girl I shouldn't have read this at this hour (before goin to sleep) Now I am as fresh as ever! :)
Must second Zen Master on his choice of the 'chair' episode. Client interaction wasn't far behind and for that matter neither was Wonder1 :)
Awesome talent of ticklin ones funny bones with words!
blackcurrent ka jokes they will crack in nostlagia.. arre woh kalu tha na ..neway.. mai double orle karna chahoonga in ur film.. whos the heroine..u?
annie mcbeal.... great work :P
the apt dressin sense is appreciated.... ;) and ur creativity is commendable....
quintessential piece of humorous writing...!! you should leave all your jobs aside and write blogs,magazine entries...
rolling on floor laughing....cant comment right now
I couldnt stop laughing on this one. I think i can get an even funnier one from my boss!!! Hmmm... needs a thought!
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