This post is slightly on the serious side. Last nite I watched ‘The Namesake’ (yeah finally!) and must say I loved the movie, not because of the stellar performances by all the actors, but because how close that movie is to my own life. Don’t worry unlike posts seen in many other blogs, I am not gonna write a review of the movie.
Watching the movie I felt that the lead characters Ashoke and Ashima were a reflection my dad and mum. Dad like Ashoke wanted us to stay outside Kerala cause a metro city was the ‘land of opportunities’(for further reference please refer to the post ‘Leema I got transferred’) and mum like Ashima still has the distinct accented English. What is strikingly similar is the relationship they both share, the downplayed romance, the concern over their ‘slightly’ indifferent children. I was reminded of my folks in the scene where Ashoke explains to Ashima that just because other husbands don’t build the Taj for their wives they don’t love them any less, where Ashoke calls Ashima to be with him in Cleaveland and when Ashima asks her husband ‘u want me to say I love u like the americans’ and the way she does not say it.
Similarities don’t end there. There are shades of Gogol in me coz I too have issues with my name. I always complain to my folks that in an effort to match my name with my sister’s, they have given me a lousy name. Why did they have to give me 3 names, y give me a name does not mean anything, y put my ‘good’ name, pet name and dad’s name in the school register, the names are three small names which they sounds ridiculous when taken together, y cant I make my dad’s name an initial and take my granddad’s name and…on and on and on. But in the scenes where his father says that Gogol can change his name and when it hurts him when Gogol’s wife says that she intends to retain her maiden name, I realized how much I hurt my folks wid my ‘name changing’ tantrums.
Sorry dad and mum coz I hurt you with alternatives for my name..after all whats in a name.. a rose by any other name would smell as sweet and there is no more room for granddad’s name in my name- Dad this is for your 'namesake'....
Friday, August 03, 2007
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Annie McBeal
Blogging frequency has become dismally low [like anyone cares, but still] these days as I serve the society as a corporate lawyer by raising bills on firangs. I am no more ‘just a student’ and since (wo)manhours are being billed, I chose to something more productive (but if I am showered with comments I will choose blogging over billing). So everyday Annie McBeal packs herself to the office and does wonders!! Here is an excerpt of what my certificate will be:
XYZ Associates
Certificate
TO WHOMSOEVER IT MAY CONCERN*
XYZ Associates
Certificate
TO WHOMSOEVER IT MAY CONCERN*
(* we dont except anybody to be concerned abt her)
Miss Annie Macbeal worked with us for the past____months. Listed below are the wonders she ‘performed’ during her stint at XYZ Associates.
Wonder 1- Dress Code
Annie McBeal is the only person in office who wears jeans on a weekday. On other days she obliges the firm by wearing Indian formals. But in that she appears to the client like a social worker striving for the cause of the downtrodden and destitute and not like a hard core mercenary willing to help firangs sell nuts, bolts, lubricants, plastics in India. She still carries a ‘backpack’ in contrast to a boring ‘formal’ bag and wears ‘funky’ socks instead of classy silk stockings. Her hair is in dire need of an ‘iron’ or at least a comb.
Wonder 2- Body Language
Annie Mcbeal is the classic case of ‘rebel without a cause’. She looks like a college student who has still not left her ‘glorious’ past behind. Her sitting posture resembles a Ramdev aasan. In her first month at office, to show her displeasure at a delayed pay cheque, she broke a chair. She breaks into a jig on solving a query. A complete clean freak it is not surprising to see her frequently cleaning the keyboard, mouse and office stationery with sanitizing lotion. [Warning: She needs to seek medical help on this issue] She needs to hone her choice of mobile ringtones, ‘Sexy back’ is ‘cacophonous, jarring sound’ affecting the office environment (I know sexyback is now passé..but that’s till I get some time to download a more “cacophonous” sound).
Wonder 3- Work culture
Annie McBeal has absolutely no clue of what she is doing in office. Her knowledge of corporate law at present is zilch and we are not contemplating or expecting any change in this regard in the ‘far’ future either. She can draft something, however we attribute this to her excellent talent at ‘cut, copy, pasting’. She gets jittery on meeting a client and in the process manages to get clumsier. Her patent dialogue to client is ‘We will have to ask boss about this. We shall get back to you in some time’. All in all she is our Bridget Jones.
To conclude, it was a delight having Annie McBeal in our office and it is BIGGER delight NOT HAVING her in the office. We wish all her future bosses good luck and success in all their endeavors.
Sd/-
XXXXX
Partner
Miss Annie Macbeal worked with us for the past____months. Listed below are the wonders she ‘performed’ during her stint at XYZ Associates.
Wonder 1- Dress Code
Annie McBeal is the only person in office who wears jeans on a weekday. On other days she obliges the firm by wearing Indian formals. But in that she appears to the client like a social worker striving for the cause of the downtrodden and destitute and not like a hard core mercenary willing to help firangs sell nuts, bolts, lubricants, plastics in India. She still carries a ‘backpack’ in contrast to a boring ‘formal’ bag and wears ‘funky’ socks instead of classy silk stockings. Her hair is in dire need of an ‘iron’ or at least a comb.
Wonder 2- Body Language
Annie Mcbeal is the classic case of ‘rebel without a cause’. She looks like a college student who has still not left her ‘glorious’ past behind. Her sitting posture resembles a Ramdev aasan. In her first month at office, to show her displeasure at a delayed pay cheque, she broke a chair. She breaks into a jig on solving a query. A complete clean freak it is not surprising to see her frequently cleaning the keyboard, mouse and office stationery with sanitizing lotion. [Warning: She needs to seek medical help on this issue] She needs to hone her choice of mobile ringtones, ‘Sexy back’ is ‘cacophonous, jarring sound’ affecting the office environment (I know sexyback is now passé..but that’s till I get some time to download a more “cacophonous” sound).
Wonder 3- Work culture
Annie McBeal has absolutely no clue of what she is doing in office. Her knowledge of corporate law at present is zilch and we are not contemplating or expecting any change in this regard in the ‘far’ future either. She can draft something, however we attribute this to her excellent talent at ‘cut, copy, pasting’. She gets jittery on meeting a client and in the process manages to get clumsier. Her patent dialogue to client is ‘We will have to ask boss about this. We shall get back to you in some time’. All in all she is our Bridget Jones.
To conclude, it was a delight having Annie McBeal in our office and it is BIGGER delight NOT HAVING her in the office. We wish all her future bosses good luck and success in all their endeavors.
Sd/-
XXXXX
Partner
Monday, July 09, 2007
Rainy days are here again!!
"Rrain rrain go yaway
Come agyain anotherr day
Litttel Jhony waaants to playyy
Rrain rrain go yaway"
As a child i remember singing this rhyme (in that irritating voice and strong mallu accent-that explains the spelling) on a rainy day coz the rain ruined our evening play plans and we had to be content with indoor games. In school 'games' period became an extra-class period by the history teacher (of all the subjects HISTORY!!!). Folks would never allow me to get wet in the rain saying i would catch a cold. (if thats so then y didnt we catch cold wen we took bath under the shower!!!!). I hated wearing the raincoat, coz i thought it hid my curves (tho i didnt have any!). I wanted to carry an umbrella because all grown ups used an umbrella (i was 8 wen i thot this!)
Rainy season was something i wanted to enjoy sitting at home coz schools wud be shut for a day or 2, get wet, jump into the puddles of water and splash water on a newly painted wall (of course not ours, some others')- but cudnt coz it was banned by folks. So i would enjoy rain from my balcony with those few raindrops (which showed some mercy on me) falling on my outstretched little palm. (damn that parapet!!!!!) I was FORCED TO AVOID the rain.
"Raindrops keep falling on my head
But that doesn't mean my eyes will soon be turning red.
Crying's not for me
Cause I'm never gonna stop the rain by complaining.
Because I'm free. Nothing's worrying me."
In college, rain symbolised fun and romance (tho nt in my case sadly-the good (read stupid) mallu girl i am u see) , coz folks could no longer exert much control (mind u my folks r still very strict). Rainy meant teachers in no mood to teach and taking a walk in the rain with friends (some of them were given the much needed bath by mother nature herself) and yes ur heart would skip a beat wen u see the university heartthrob all wet and sexy(and for that moment the fact that he cant speak english and that he is just a gawar gaonwala doesnt matter-he still was the heartthrob as our univ lacked good choice). I once took a walk with my friends in the rain- walking wid that somebody who u think is secretly nursing feelings for u and suddenly the orange stain of the henna applied on my hair the previous day started draining and it resulted in orange spots on my my cream dupatta!!! [HOW ROMANTIC!!!!! and it also resulted in no more feelings being nursed]. I NO LONGER AVOIDED the rain.
At work, rain is taken in the same breath as traffic jam and boss' bad mood coz u jus cant save ur ass from it!!! Be it a 10km stretch traffic jam or ur assignment getting reviewed by boss wen his mood is at its foul-est peak or incessant rain- u still HAVE to be in office and show that pleasant face!! A rainy day means more stink in the bus, never ending traffic jam, overflowing gutters, multi-tasking trying to prevent ur umbrella from flying off and making sure that ur pyjama ends dont get wet (being all grown up i now carry an umbrella, but i realised that a raincoat is better!!!) and after all this battle sit freezing cold in the airconditioned office and finally catch that cold which ur folks always warned u abt. Now I WANT TO but CAN NO LONGER AVOID the rain!!!
"Rain rain go away
Come again another day
L'il Johny wants to play
Rain rain go away...."
These days i have resumed signing the same old rhyme, but the accent has changed- (its all the influence of Star TV!!)
"Rrain rrain go yaway
Come agyain anotherr day
Litttel Jhony waaants to playyy
Rrain rrain go yaway"
As a child i remember singing this rhyme (in that irritating voice and strong mallu accent-that explains the spelling) on a rainy day coz the rain ruined our evening play plans and we had to be content with indoor games. In school 'games' period became an extra-class period by the history teacher (of all the subjects HISTORY!!!). Folks would never allow me to get wet in the rain saying i would catch a cold. (if thats so then y didnt we catch cold wen we took bath under the shower!!!!). I hated wearing the raincoat, coz i thought it hid my curves (tho i didnt have any!). I wanted to carry an umbrella because all grown ups used an umbrella (i was 8 wen i thot this!)
Rainy season was something i wanted to enjoy sitting at home coz schools wud be shut for a day or 2, get wet, jump into the puddles of water and splash water on a newly painted wall (of course not ours, some others')- but cudnt coz it was banned by folks. So i would enjoy rain from my balcony with those few raindrops (which showed some mercy on me) falling on my outstretched little palm. (damn that parapet!!!!!) I was FORCED TO AVOID the rain.
"Raindrops keep falling on my head
But that doesn't mean my eyes will soon be turning red.
Crying's not for me
Cause I'm never gonna stop the rain by complaining.
Because I'm free. Nothing's worrying me."
In college, rain symbolised fun and romance (tho nt in my case sadly-the good (read stupid) mallu girl i am u see) , coz folks could no longer exert much control (mind u my folks r still very strict). Rainy meant teachers in no mood to teach and taking a walk in the rain with friends (some of them were given the much needed bath by mother nature herself) and yes ur heart would skip a beat wen u see the university heartthrob all wet and sexy(and for that moment the fact that he cant speak english and that he is just a gawar gaonwala doesnt matter-he still was the heartthrob as our univ lacked good choice). I once took a walk with my friends in the rain- walking wid that somebody who u think is secretly nursing feelings for u and suddenly the orange stain of the henna applied on my hair the previous day started draining and it resulted in orange spots on my my cream dupatta!!! [HOW ROMANTIC!!!!! and it also resulted in no more feelings being nursed]. I NO LONGER AVOIDED the rain.
At work, rain is taken in the same breath as traffic jam and boss' bad mood coz u jus cant save ur ass from it!!! Be it a 10km stretch traffic jam or ur assignment getting reviewed by boss wen his mood is at its foul-est peak or incessant rain- u still HAVE to be in office and show that pleasant face!! A rainy day means more stink in the bus, never ending traffic jam, overflowing gutters, multi-tasking trying to prevent ur umbrella from flying off and making sure that ur pyjama ends dont get wet (being all grown up i now carry an umbrella, but i realised that a raincoat is better!!!) and after all this battle sit freezing cold in the airconditioned office and finally catch that cold which ur folks always warned u abt. Now I WANT TO but CAN NO LONGER AVOID the rain!!!
"Rain rain go away
Come again another day
L'il Johny wants to play
Rain rain go away...."
These days i have resumed signing the same old rhyme, but the accent has changed- (its all the influence of Star TV!!)
Monday, July 02, 2007
From Walled City to Maximum City
2 months in Bombay and my good self can see the difference between saddi dilli and amchi mumbai. here are a few.....
1) first and foremost- I don't think I am short anymore! (the delhi crowd gave me a complex!)
2) fat aunties with low neck crepe suits and fatter uncles yapping in punjabi have given way to fit dada and dadis jabbering in marathi
3) neon colored polythene lifafas have been replaced by psychedelic prints- wali thaili
4) sweaters have given way umbrellas and rain coats
5) no more papdi chat, dahi bhalley, chole bhature, jus vada pav, pav bhaji, pav samosa, pav this, pav that
6) bbye golgappe, hello pani puri :~(
7) no more lecherous looking uncles, infact hardly any leching these days and a man to woman conversation happens eye to eye (thank god)
8) um still trying to find a woman who wears make up, as contrasted to the quintessential delhi woman with all the make up on her face 24/7
9) sleek metro is no longer a luxury, only ur local Mumbai local
10) we have gateway of India instead of India Gate
11) green colored CNG buses replaced by red colored BEST buses with all directions written in marathi except 'Purchase your ticket'
11) no more nosey neighbors or prying public, only the bindaas bombayite, who can be very impersonal at times
12) paneer has been elevated to the status of "Chef's Special" and so has its cost(!!)
13) I no longer begin my day hearing MC, BC and its cousins
14) I am learning to value time
15) I am enjoying the sense of independence that Mumbai has given me!!!!
1) first and foremost- I don't think I am short anymore! (the delhi crowd gave me a complex!)
2) fat aunties with low neck crepe suits and fatter uncles yapping in punjabi have given way to fit dada and dadis jabbering in marathi
3) neon colored polythene lifafas have been replaced by psychedelic prints- wali thaili
4) sweaters have given way umbrellas and rain coats
5) no more papdi chat, dahi bhalley, chole bhature, jus vada pav, pav bhaji, pav samosa, pav this, pav that
6) bbye golgappe, hello pani puri :~(
7) no more lecherous looking uncles, infact hardly any leching these days and a man to woman conversation happens eye to eye (thank god)
8) um still trying to find a woman who wears make up, as contrasted to the quintessential delhi woman with all the make up on her face 24/7
9) sleek metro is no longer a luxury, only ur local Mumbai local
10) we have gateway of India instead of India Gate
11) green colored CNG buses replaced by red colored BEST buses with all directions written in marathi except 'Purchase your ticket'
11) no more nosey neighbors or prying public, only the bindaas bombayite, who can be very impersonal at times
12) paneer has been elevated to the status of "Chef's Special" and so has its cost(!!)
13) I no longer begin my day hearing MC, BC and its cousins
14) I am learning to value time
15) I am enjoying the sense of independence that Mumbai has given me!!!!
Saturday, June 02, 2007
Walled City to Maximum City
2 months in Bombay and my good self can see the difference between saddi dilli and amchi mumbai. here are a few.....
1) first and foremost- I don’t think I am short anymore! (the delhi crowd gave me a complex!)
2) fat aunties with low neck crepe suits and fatter uncles yapping in punjabi have given way to fit dada and dadis jabbering in marathi
3) neon colored polythene lifafas have been replaced by psychedelic prints-wali thaili
4) sweaters have given way umbrellas and rain coats
5) no more papdi chat, dahi bhalley, chole bhature, jus vada pav, pav bhaji, pav samosa, pav this, pav that
6) bbye golgappe, hello pani puri :~(
7) no more lecherous looking uncles, infact hardly any leching these days and a man to woman conversation happens eye to eye (thank god)
8) um still trying to find a woman who wears make up, as contrasted to the quintessential delhi woman with all the make up on her face 24/7
9) sleek metro is no longer a luxury, only ur local Mumbai local
10) we have gateway of India instead of India Gate
11) green colored CNG buses replaced by red colored BEST buses with all directions written in marathi except ‘Purchase your ticket’
11) no more nosey neighbors or prying public, only the bindaas bombayite, who can be very impersonal at times
12) paneer has been elevated to the status of “Chef’s Special” and so has its cost(!!)
13) I no longer begin my day hearing MC, BC and its cousins
14) I am learning to value time
15) I am enjoying the sense of independence that Mumbai has given me!!!!
1) first and foremost- I don’t think I am short anymore! (the delhi crowd gave me a complex!)
2) fat aunties with low neck crepe suits and fatter uncles yapping in punjabi have given way to fit dada and dadis jabbering in marathi
3) neon colored polythene lifafas have been replaced by psychedelic prints-wali thaili
4) sweaters have given way umbrellas and rain coats
5) no more papdi chat, dahi bhalley, chole bhature, jus vada pav, pav bhaji, pav samosa, pav this, pav that
6) bbye golgappe, hello pani puri :~(
7) no more lecherous looking uncles, infact hardly any leching these days and a man to woman conversation happens eye to eye (thank god)
8) um still trying to find a woman who wears make up, as contrasted to the quintessential delhi woman with all the make up on her face 24/7
9) sleek metro is no longer a luxury, only ur local Mumbai local
10) we have gateway of India instead of India Gate
11) green colored CNG buses replaced by red colored BEST buses with all directions written in marathi except ‘Purchase your ticket’
11) no more nosey neighbors or prying public, only the bindaas bombayite, who can be very impersonal at times
12) paneer has been elevated to the status of “Chef’s Special” and so has its cost(!!)
13) I no longer begin my day hearing MC, BC and its cousins
14) I am learning to value time
15) I am enjoying the sense of independence that Mumbai has given me!!!!
Sunday, May 06, 2007
"Leema, i got transferred"
This is the line that sister and me dreaded everytime we were in a particular city for about 3 years. My dad has a transferable job and he is one of those few employees who LIKES transfers.
A 'few years' back to when i was 6 yrs old (i am not very old) when dad got transferred to Madras (Back then it was Madras) In fact he wanted to transfer himself to Madras for he wanted 'without Mallu accented English' speaking daughters. So we shifted ourselves from Alwaye (Kerala). Madras gave us a slight culture shock. Children conversed in English and my knowledge of English was restricted to 'cat', 'bat' and 'rat'. Others spoke Tamil- a word of which i didnt know. I didnt speak for a month to anyone outside home (for ppl who know-this should surprise them!!!). In a month we joined our new school, learnt the new language (English and Tamil-all the English i know today and my accent is courtesy our stint in Madras), ate tamilian food etc. All this for 5 years....
Just wen we got comfortable, the dreaded fone call came. “Leema, I got transferred”. This time we packed off to Bombay (it was Bombay back then). From now on the cultural shock was less, cause we were used to city life. But now everybody spoke hindi and i had to study marathi for school.
Two yrs later, the call came again. This time to Kerala- a stint we or rather i didnt enjoy much. We lived near our relatives, so we HAVE to meet them every sunday for some function. I didnt miss my cousins anymore, so i no longer had the excitement to meet them. Dad saw this coming, he too felt that we relegating back to the 'rice and fish' culture (i would like to mention here tat dad has the highest regard for mallu culture, but he didnt like those functions eating into our study time)
then the calls became frequent- Kerala to Delhi, Delhi to Chennai(ya then it became Chennai), Chennai to Delhi- then in Delhi for 6 looong years. Till the call came again....this time to Mumbai (name changed!!)
Thanx to transfers, we have a cosmopolitan upbringing, we know more languages, more places, friends in these places, 7 schools (thankfully only one college) i did grades 8-12th in 4 different schools!!! Transfers made us bold and confident. We are 'non mallu accented english speaking' girls!!...But transfers also made us thick skinned and hard hearted. We longer feel very close to people. We are apprehensive of getting close to people, cause we know that one day soon we have part. People say that we have friends all over, but line 'keep in touch haan..' is just a formality. Nobody keeps in touch- even with the advent of orkut, hi-fi. When we go to any place, we have an identity crisis- we are not south indians for an ordinary south indian- we are dilli or mumbaiwaalis, while we are in the north, we are tambis!!
But Dad was very particular that we always see transfers in positive light, we just could not complain about a transfer. “Every new place holds new opportunities”- thus spake dad. Lets see wat oppurtunity this mumbai stint has in store....
A 'few years' back to when i was 6 yrs old (i am not very old) when dad got transferred to Madras (Back then it was Madras) In fact he wanted to transfer himself to Madras for he wanted 'without Mallu accented English' speaking daughters. So we shifted ourselves from Alwaye (Kerala). Madras gave us a slight culture shock. Children conversed in English and my knowledge of English was restricted to 'cat', 'bat' and 'rat'. Others spoke Tamil- a word of which i didnt know. I didnt speak for a month to anyone outside home (for ppl who know-this should surprise them!!!). In a month we joined our new school, learnt the new language (English and Tamil-all the English i know today and my accent is courtesy our stint in Madras), ate tamilian food etc. All this for 5 years....
Just wen we got comfortable, the dreaded fone call came. “Leema, I got transferred”. This time we packed off to Bombay (it was Bombay back then). From now on the cultural shock was less, cause we were used to city life. But now everybody spoke hindi and i had to study marathi for school.
Two yrs later, the call came again. This time to Kerala- a stint we or rather i didnt enjoy much. We lived near our relatives, so we HAVE to meet them every sunday for some function. I didnt miss my cousins anymore, so i no longer had the excitement to meet them. Dad saw this coming, he too felt that we relegating back to the 'rice and fish' culture (i would like to mention here tat dad has the highest regard for mallu culture, but he didnt like those functions eating into our study time)
then the calls became frequent- Kerala to Delhi, Delhi to Chennai(ya then it became Chennai), Chennai to Delhi- then in Delhi for 6 looong years. Till the call came again....this time to Mumbai (name changed!!)
Thanx to transfers, we have a cosmopolitan upbringing, we know more languages, more places, friends in these places, 7 schools (thankfully only one college) i did grades 8-12th in 4 different schools!!! Transfers made us bold and confident. We are 'non mallu accented english speaking' girls!!...But transfers also made us thick skinned and hard hearted. We longer feel very close to people. We are apprehensive of getting close to people, cause we know that one day soon we have part. People say that we have friends all over, but line 'keep in touch haan..' is just a formality. Nobody keeps in touch- even with the advent of orkut, hi-fi. When we go to any place, we have an identity crisis- we are not south indians for an ordinary south indian- we are dilli or mumbaiwaalis, while we are in the north, we are tambis!!
But Dad was very particular that we always see transfers in positive light, we just could not complain about a transfer. “Every new place holds new opportunities”- thus spake dad. Lets see wat oppurtunity this mumbai stint has in store....
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Rickshaw ride....
Delhi is known to be one place where the past and present are closely linked wid each other, so much so that every dilapidated building has a history. Mum and urs truly jus need an excuse to go and explore a new place. so today we decided to head to sadar bazzar thru an unexplored route. for the uninitiated, sadar is delhi's age old wholesale market, with each 'gali' specialising in a particular product, along wid scary looking ppl, pollution, animals which add to the fun. and y do we head there...well to eat chole bhature and great discounts!!!
so at 40 C, 1.30 pm ventured out. hopped into the metro. got down at 'new delhi'. went by my 'gut' feeling. took the wrong turn. landed up in 'kamla market' (back in first yr of college i was told that Kamla market is near GB Road-one of delhis biggest red light areas). fought wid the rickshaw pullers to take us by the road we knew, none agreed. then bargained wid the rickshaw pullers abt the price. finally we are seated on a royal rickshaw, as it has no roof we cover our heads wid scarves.
the ride begins, and um looking at the 'new' street. the new street is better as there us lesser traffic. mebbe because of its afternoon. strangely there are very few women on this route. and the few women who are present on the street are passing contemptuous looks. thats strange. havent they seen women travel alone on this road.
soon the suspence ends...closer scrutiny of the address of the area reveals that mum and urs truly are on GB ROAD!!!!!!!! and we are two women wid our lovely (ahem) faces covered wid scarves!!!need i say more....
(oh ya the exploration trips have been stalled for sometime now)
so at 40 C, 1.30 pm ventured out. hopped into the metro. got down at 'new delhi'. went by my 'gut' feeling. took the wrong turn. landed up in 'kamla market' (back in first yr of college i was told that Kamla market is near GB Road-one of delhis biggest red light areas). fought wid the rickshaw pullers to take us by the road we knew, none agreed. then bargained wid the rickshaw pullers abt the price. finally we are seated on a royal rickshaw, as it has no roof we cover our heads wid scarves.
the ride begins, and um looking at the 'new' street. the new street is better as there us lesser traffic. mebbe because of its afternoon. strangely there are very few women on this route. and the few women who are present on the street are passing contemptuous looks. thats strange. havent they seen women travel alone on this road.
soon the suspence ends...closer scrutiny of the address of the area reveals that mum and urs truly are on GB ROAD!!!!!!!! and we are two women wid our lovely (ahem) faces covered wid scarves!!!need i say more....
(oh ya the exploration trips have been stalled for sometime now)
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Smart Girl
'Just wat have u done to ur hair....kid are u alright'!!!! thus screamed mother.
"nindey mudi (ur hair)...this costed u a grand!!!!"- dad joined in wid that disapproving look.
few weeks back.....
mum plz let me get it done..plz plz plz...look at my hair, when i tie it up it looks like ageing horses tail (no more the perky 'pony'tail)
but do u think it worth all the chemicals, u r not a kid now, u know we have to go to kerala this year...
mum plz plz plz......
go and ask dad
"dad i wanna do something to my hair, u wont understand wat it is. but its gonna cost"(sheepish grin)
how much
'one grand'
"ONE GRAND!!!!' (muscles tense, eyes turn red..thankfully breathing returns to normal)...listen u r a responsible girl...i hope u know wat u r doing." (that means i wont buy u a wig if burn all ur hair)
and wat did responsible girl do???...she underwent 'permanent waving' (perm for the uninitiated)....hey then y this reaction- preity zinta, meg ryan, nicole kidman, even oprah looked good....because some ppl also end up looking like this.
http://images.google.co.in/imgres?imgurl=http://www.hindu.com/mp/2006/07/29/images/2006072903060201.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.hindu.com/mp/2006/07/29/stories/2006072903060200.htm&h=300&w=265&sz=28&hl=en&start=1&tbnid=ssNM7_n3EL4UZM:&tbnh=116&tbnw=102&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dmakrand%2Bdespande%26gbv%3D2%26svnum%3D10%26hl%3Den
no i didnt grow a mush tho thankfully!!!
(i didnt bother much abt the formatting..i have hair to take care of)
"nindey mudi (ur hair)...this costed u a grand!!!!"- dad joined in wid that disapproving look.
few weeks back.....
mum plz let me get it done..plz plz plz...look at my hair, when i tie it up it looks like ageing horses tail (no more the perky 'pony'tail)
but do u think it worth all the chemicals, u r not a kid now, u know we have to go to kerala this year...
mum plz plz plz......
go and ask dad
"dad i wanna do something to my hair, u wont understand wat it is. but its gonna cost"(sheepish grin)
how much
'one grand'
"ONE GRAND!!!!' (muscles tense, eyes turn red..thankfully breathing returns to normal)...listen u r a responsible girl...i hope u know wat u r doing." (that means i wont buy u a wig if burn all ur hair)
and wat did responsible girl do???...she underwent 'permanent waving' (perm for the uninitiated)....hey then y this reaction- preity zinta, meg ryan, nicole kidman, even oprah looked good....because some ppl also end up looking like this.
http://images.google.co.in/imgres?imgurl=http://www.hindu.com/mp/2006/07/29/images/2006072903060201.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.hindu.com/mp/2006/07/29/stories/2006072903060200.htm&h=300&w=265&sz=28&hl=en&start=1&tbnid=ssNM7_n3EL4UZM:&tbnh=116&tbnw=102&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dmakrand%2Bdespande%26gbv%3D2%26svnum%3D10%26hl%3Den
no i didnt grow a mush tho thankfully!!!
(i didnt bother much abt the formatting..i have hair to take care of)
Monday, February 26, 2007
Being Balbir Singh.....
"Bhaiyya mai...."
-(oh no not again!!...y God y do u do this to me....)
"Jee theek hai"
-(1 2 3 jerk....wow it didnt turn off today)
"bhaiyya station change karna...yeh wala nahi...102"
-(there she goes ...changing the station again..she cant control the wheel and she wants to multitask!)
"haan...hi yaar...kaisi hai"
-(damn these cell fones..the light has turned green..the cars behind are honking..hang up will u!)
"woh gaadi peechey horn maar rahi hai"
"haan haan bhaiyya ek minute...chal vidhi rakti hoon...bye"
-(ridge road..thank heavens its a straight road, no bends or turns.. smooooth)
"THUD"
-(wat the....)
"gaddha dekhke"
"bhaiyya parking mein dal dena"
-(Another day another ride is over and am ALIVE!!!!)
Thoughts of our driver and trusted friend, Balbir Singh ji when i am driving. He has a family to feed and no insurance policy for cover, but fought all odds to 'try' teaching me to drive. Its been 5 yrs since i got d licence, but i cant control the wheel or park or take reverse, but i can drive straight...straight into a ditch! And he still has hope.....
"Bhaiyya mai...."
-(oh no not again!!...y God y do u do this to me....)
"Jee theek hai"
-(1 2 3 jerk....wow it didnt turn off today)
"bhaiyya station change karna...yeh wala nahi...102"
-(there she goes ...changing the station again..she cant control the wheel and she wants to multitask!)
"haan...hi yaar...kaisi hai"
-(damn these cell fones..the light has turned green..the cars behind are honking..hang up will u!)
"woh gaadi peechey horn maar rahi hai"
"haan haan bhaiyya ek minute...chal vidhi rakti hoon...bye"
-(ridge road..thank heavens its a straight road, no bends or turns.. smooooth)
"THUD"
-(wat the....)
"gaddha dekhke"
"bhaiyya parking mein dal dena"
-(Another day another ride is over and am ALIVE!!!!)
Thoughts of our driver and trusted friend, Balbir Singh ji when i am driving. He has a family to feed and no insurance policy for cover, but fought all odds to 'try' teaching me to drive. Its been 5 yrs since i got d licence, but i cant control the wheel or park or take reverse, but i can drive straight...straight into a ditch! And he still has hope.....
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
"khaney mein kya laya hai varun?"
"tera favourite, gobhi"
"jo doosron ke liye gaddha khodta hai, woh usmein khud gir jaata hai"
"pata hai mayo mein na...."
"namrata ghar se 'sussie' ke laddoo layi hai"
"mujhe kaalu bhula rahi hai, woh badla lega!!!!"
"toom log kya kar rahey ho...main bhi karrrooonga!!"
"...(silence).....ke baat se chori.....(eternal silence)......"
Why do these thoughts keep coming back and haunt me? I saw this coming, one day we all had to part ways. But i never thought it would affect me as i have been shifting base most of my life.....Mebbe because in the past 4 1/2 years they had a powerful impact on me, the most powerful till date. They are addictive and now its the withdrawal symptoms.
....vidhi, varun, neha, akshat, dhannu, addy, vipin.....pyaas ke paranthe, 'kal-raat-ki-subzi' ke paranthe, bhaigan ka bharta....the red brick wall, the endless chit-chat in class, futile plans to go to assam, karnal kahaanis, jamunapaari jokes, fash p, rakesh sirs class, last minute moot submissions, varuns lunch, gluttony at my place (leading to depleting stocks of the months provision), mayo.......
"tera favourite, gobhi"
"jo doosron ke liye gaddha khodta hai, woh usmein khud gir jaata hai"
"pata hai mayo mein na...."
"namrata ghar se 'sussie' ke laddoo layi hai"
"mujhe kaalu bhula rahi hai, woh badla lega!!!!"
"toom log kya kar rahey ho...main bhi karrrooonga!!"
"...(silence).....ke baat se chori.....(eternal silence)......"
Why do these thoughts keep coming back and haunt me? I saw this coming, one day we all had to part ways. But i never thought it would affect me as i have been shifting base most of my life.....Mebbe because in the past 4 1/2 years they had a powerful impact on me, the most powerful till date. They are addictive and now its the withdrawal symptoms.
....vidhi, varun, neha, akshat, dhannu, addy, vipin.....pyaas ke paranthe, 'kal-raat-ki-subzi' ke paranthe, bhaigan ka bharta....the red brick wall, the endless chit-chat in class, futile plans to go to assam, karnal kahaanis, jamunapaari jokes, fash p, rakesh sirs class, last minute moot submissions, varuns lunch, gluttony at my place (leading to depleting stocks of the months provision), mayo.......
Thursday, February 15, 2007
V-day is here again!!!
Y day I celebrated my 23rd 'single' valentines day. Actually all my V days have been 'single v days' coz I don't believe in being committed for the sake of being committed (read a passive and lazy person who hopes for a marriage broker to do the needful!). but V days have always been eventful. On one of my V days I got to know that the guy who I had a huge crush on was interested in my best friend!!! (Ouch!)
In my first v day in college I got a whole bar of chocolate from a nice friend (tho I was one of his many friends who got it- but its chocolate who cares, I jus want the whole bar to myself!!!!) and that was my one and only v day gift till date. The second V day in college, there was a huge fight among the guys (for as usual a trivial reason). Third valentine had all my friends pack ourselves to CP and watch other couples. V 4 girlfriends nearly created a rift between a couple as when his girlfriend was busy trying some outfit, the boyfriend was more interested in talking to us. Finally he left the store and she didn't buy anything. 4 th valentine in college, our results were out!!! That is my college's method of playing the moral police - release the result and dampen the sprits of most of the students. 5th valentine in college (that is yesterday) was ruined by my dads foul mood (over the ever increasing phone bill I think), thereby making my mums efforts a complete waste of time.
As for me neither do i have to do anything, neither do i feel good or bad abt wat i did... Um so happy being single on valentine…..
Y day I celebrated my 23rd 'single' valentines day. Actually all my V days have been 'single v days' coz I don't believe in being committed for the sake of being committed (read a passive and lazy person who hopes for a marriage broker to do the needful!). but V days have always been eventful. On one of my V days I got to know that the guy who I had a huge crush on was interested in my best friend!!! (Ouch!)
In my first v day in college I got a whole bar of chocolate from a nice friend (tho I was one of his many friends who got it- but its chocolate who cares, I jus want the whole bar to myself!!!!) and that was my one and only v day gift till date. The second V day in college, there was a huge fight among the guys (for as usual a trivial reason). Third valentine had all my friends pack ourselves to CP and watch other couples. V 4 girlfriends nearly created a rift between a couple as when his girlfriend was busy trying some outfit, the boyfriend was more interested in talking to us. Finally he left the store and she didn't buy anything. 4 th valentine in college, our results were out!!! That is my college's method of playing the moral police - release the result and dampen the sprits of most of the students. 5th valentine in college (that is yesterday) was ruined by my dads foul mood (over the ever increasing phone bill I think), thereby making my mums efforts a complete waste of time.
As for me neither do i have to do anything, neither do i feel good or bad abt wat i did... Um so happy being single on valentine…..
Sunday, February 04, 2007
this is my all time fav forward... reply to a matrimonial classified
I am an olden young uncle living only with myself in Bangaloru. Having seen your advertisement for marriage purposes, I decided to press myself on you and hope you will take me nicely.
I am a soiled son from inside Karnataka. I am nice and big, six foot tall and six inches long. My body is filled with hardness, as because I am working hardly. I am playing hardly also. Especially I like cricket and I am a good batter and I am fast baller. Whenever I come running in for balling, other batters start running. Everybody is scared of my rapid balls that bounce a lot.
I am very nice man. I am always laughing loudly at everyone. I am jolly. I am gay.Especially ladies, they are saying I am nice and soft. I am always giving respect to the ladies. I am always allowing ladies to get on top. That is how nice I am.
I am not having any bad habits. I am not drinking and I am not sucking tobacco or anything else. Every morning I am going to the gym and I am pumping like anything. Daily I am pumping and pumping. If you want you can come and see how much I am pumping the dumb belles in the gym.
I am having a lot of money in my pants and my pants is always open for you. I am such a nice man, but still I am living with myself only. What to do? So I am taking things into my own hands everyday.That is why I am pressing myself on you, so that you will come in my house and take my things into your hand.
If you are marrying me madam, I am telling you, I will be loving you very hard every day. In fact, I will stop pumping dumb belles in the gym. If you are not marrying me madam and not coming to me, I will press you and press you until you come.
So I am placing my head between your nicely smelling feet and looking up with lots of hope. I am waiting very badly for your reply and I am stiff with anticipation
Expecting soon,
Yours and only yours
I am an olden young uncle living only with myself in Bangaloru. Having seen your advertisement for marriage purposes, I decided to press myself on you and hope you will take me nicely.
I am a soiled son from inside Karnataka. I am nice and big, six foot tall and six inches long. My body is filled with hardness, as because I am working hardly. I am playing hardly also. Especially I like cricket and I am a good batter and I am fast baller. Whenever I come running in for balling, other batters start running. Everybody is scared of my rapid balls that bounce a lot.
I am very nice man. I am always laughing loudly at everyone. I am jolly. I am gay.Especially ladies, they are saying I am nice and soft. I am always giving respect to the ladies. I am always allowing ladies to get on top. That is how nice I am.
I am not having any bad habits. I am not drinking and I am not sucking tobacco or anything else. Every morning I am going to the gym and I am pumping like anything. Daily I am pumping and pumping. If you want you can come and see how much I am pumping the dumb belles in the gym.
I am having a lot of money in my pants and my pants is always open for you. I am such a nice man, but still I am living with myself only. What to do? So I am taking things into my own hands everyday.That is why I am pressing myself on you, so that you will come in my house and take my things into your hand.
If you are marrying me madam, I am telling you, I will be loving you very hard every day. In fact, I will stop pumping dumb belles in the gym. If you are not marrying me madam and not coming to me, I will press you and press you until you come.
So I am placing my head between your nicely smelling feet and looking up with lots of hope. I am waiting very badly for your reply and I am stiff with anticipation
Expecting soon,
Yours and only yours
Thursday, February 01, 2007
i am biologically a female, but somewhere i wasnt blessed with that touch of feminity. i am at times jealous of those girls who can carry off anything pink and look girly and cute. my attempts at wearing pink made look like well um trying not to remember.
back when i was a kid, my folks got me a pair of shorts. i was so relieved that i no longer needed to be bothered by the breeze the next time it came, that i banned skirts and every other lowers-without-a-seat at bay. little did i know that i bade my feminity also goodbye. once ppl asked my father 'the kid' (urs truly) was a boy or a girl, as they had a bet on my gender!!!
after realisation dawned on me, every year i think that i need an extreme makeover and add that feminine touch to my personality and every year has me heading to a cosmetic store to get myself some of the following-a chocolate shower gel, a sunscreen with really high SPF, a lip balm with an exotic flavor, a face scrub, a BIG bottle of moisturising lotion blah blah.. then begin the attempts to grow my nails, leave my hair open, wear salwar kameez with open sandals.
a week later- the ants sensed the presence of "chocolate" lying in the corner of the bathroom, some tasted it and died. the sunscreen now adorns a dusty basket in my room. the fruity lip balm gives me a headache. the face scrub is getting dry. moisturising lotion is awaiting winter, when my mum will use it. my right eye has a red spot as my 'long' nail poked it accidently. my hair is cut short. my feet is black with delhi's dust. and i have a pile of kurtas and pyajamas to iron!!!
feminity anyone??
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
the post office
i took a resolution mid last year that i shall do all my application work on my own (which in itself is a long story). part of this new challenge had me walking in and out sarkari offices for attestation and other routine formalities. this adventure today took me to the Post Office, Rajinder Nagar. now um not really proud to admit this, but it was my first visit to a post office.
firstly ever since it became functional the office, the furniture and its employees have not been renovated or changed respectively . the dim tube-lights, plastic wired chairs with wooden frames, the green colored glass, the extra-milky tea transported me to a bygone era. secondly service to the public is not really their first priority, but harassing the public definitely is.
i went there with the same enthusiasm and excitement as is present when i go to the DHL office only to find the lady at the enquiry counter 'not at her seat'! and nobody else in the office was really interested in helping the confused souls like me. so i waited diligently hoping that someone wud help me out. 25 minutes into this ordeal one 'uncle' came out from the inner office and i quickly pushed my envelope into his face asking him (requesting rather) to 'pleeese' tell me the denomination of the stamp. as per the rules, he weighed the package and pondered for some time before muttering 'pandra rupay'. now purchasing stamps dont take much time as its they who r getting the money. with the exact change provided, stamp purchased and stuck and all that jazz, i was told to leave my envelope at one corner table!!!
this is how i posted my acceptance to an offer for a course that um dying to pursue for the last one year. but for that business reply card with a post box address, i wud have couriered it by my trusted DHL. if the particular office receives my acceptance (which i hope and pray it does), i am going to nominate the indian post offer as one of the 'wonders of the world'!!!
i took a resolution mid last year that i shall do all my application work on my own (which in itself is a long story). part of this new challenge had me walking in and out sarkari offices for attestation and other routine formalities. this adventure today took me to the Post Office, Rajinder Nagar. now um not really proud to admit this, but it was my first visit to a post office.
firstly ever since it became functional the office, the furniture and its employees have not been renovated or changed respectively . the dim tube-lights, plastic wired chairs with wooden frames, the green colored glass, the extra-milky tea transported me to a bygone era. secondly service to the public is not really their first priority, but harassing the public definitely is.
i went there with the same enthusiasm and excitement as is present when i go to the DHL office only to find the lady at the enquiry counter 'not at her seat'! and nobody else in the office was really interested in helping the confused souls like me. so i waited diligently hoping that someone wud help me out. 25 minutes into this ordeal one 'uncle' came out from the inner office and i quickly pushed my envelope into his face asking him (requesting rather) to 'pleeese' tell me the denomination of the stamp. as per the rules, he weighed the package and pondered for some time before muttering 'pandra rupay'. now purchasing stamps dont take much time as its they who r getting the money. with the exact change provided, stamp purchased and stuck and all that jazz, i was told to leave my envelope at one corner table!!!
this is how i posted my acceptance to an offer for a course that um dying to pursue for the last one year. but for that business reply card with a post box address, i wud have couriered it by my trusted DHL. if the particular office receives my acceptance (which i hope and pray it does), i am going to nominate the indian post offer as one of the 'wonders of the world'!!!
this is, to be honest, my fifth attempt to blog. i always signed up, chose the fanciest template and by the time my now-outdated-but-still-trustworthy dial-up connection managed to reach the page for 'creating new post' i lost interest! this time they bugged me more by telling this computer-illiterate soul that they had some new exciting features so 'upgrade now'!!! in other words this time i will have to wait another extra 15 minutes, so that i again lose interest. but this time i decided to be patient as i have nothing else to interest me.
now that i am finally here, my next task is to find out for exactly how long i will stay here. (considering my other endeavours i really dont think it will last long)
now that i am finally here, my next task is to find out for exactly how long i will stay here. (considering my other endeavours i really dont think it will last long)
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