Blinking Red

A blinking red light warns us about an impending danger, be it a police van, any electrical equipment or for that matter our very own BBs!!!

Every time the red light flashes, my heart skips a beat. MS Outlook does not have the same intimidating effect…may be because, unlike the BB, I have restricted my access to MS Outlook to 11 hrs of the day.

Given below is my reaction through the day on not finding the flashing red light:

Wake up - HAPPY
Before leaving for office -how is this possible!!! is there a problem with the e-mails??
Before leaving for home- Cool..i am such a dedicated associate..finished all assignments :~)
Before going to bed - Good I can sleep in peace
5 minutes after going to bed - how is this possible!!! is there a problem with the e-mails??

No matter how engrossed one is in an assignment, that small flash of red is sufficient to distract anyone. I was getting ‘advised’ (read reprimanded) for not honing my observation skills to a 11 (on a scale of 10!!!) Then played the BBpro_Sanguine in the background and followed by the small flash of red. It made me so uncomfortable that I succumbed to the temptation and checked the phone and my senior dismissed (read chucked out) me from the room. Irony!! I should have been lauded for my observation skills!!! I observed the small flashing red light!

I Like

… the warm sunlight hitting my bed in the morning.

… crossing 2 km on the treadmill.

... getting wet in the rain on my way back to the gym.

… the wind in my just washed-hair on my way to office.

… putting my face out of the car while travelling through Bandra Worli Sea link.

… tucking in Naturals Mango ice cream on a bored afternoon in office.

… full sleeves on formal shirts and wide neckline on civils.

… chick-flick on a Thursday night, sitcoms on other nights.

… salsa class with Y and N on Sunday.

… cheerful music in the morning and blues in the evening on FM Gold.

… 3 teaspoon sugar and ginger and lots of milk in my tea.

… long chats with friends at night.

Anything out of order, I dislike. No wonder they say girls so finicky!!! :~

April Syndrome

There is something about April. I still haven’t been able to sort out my feelings for this month. It is ‘mixed emotions’ month.

The beginning of the month is good with the appraisals (at least for the last 2 years) and high which follows seeing the bank account ;~) and the planning for extravagance in the coming year. Then as the month rolls its time for re-location or re-organisation on the professional front and/or personal front. It is the time when one sees location and relationship status updates of one’s friends and acquaintances on Facebook. Leave & license agreements terminate or transfer orders are received. People formalize their relationship status and get engaged hoping to get a 7 month head-start in preparing for the big fat Indian wedding. (what they don’t understand is that is that everybody else follows the same game plan and the head start does not serve any purpose). Adding to the ‘fun’ is the infamous Indian summer in its top form draining out every ounce of energy, patience and sanity in me.

April (since birth-1987) – I never really had to do anything but for smile, sing a nursery rhyme and shake my booty when my parents wanted to show off their child’s talent at a gathering. I think I just wailed and got my things done.

April (1988-2002-in school) – Exam time!!! Need I say anymore!! But holidays began by the middle of the month and it was time to head off to kerala.

April (2002-2007- in law school)- First half of the month (like every semester in law school) we didn’t know what we were doing. Second half was spent in collecting notes for the impending exams in May.

April (2008- grad school)- In the first half my folks visited NL and we headed off for a mini trip to Paris and Brussels with Chech and Chettan. Back from the trip, I saw the syllabus and realized I should have started studying from January to clear my exams!!

April (2009- work)- Last April I moved out of home. The feeling was not very great initially. I moved in with a friend of a friend of a friend (typical mallu me!)- Nidhi from Delhi. When I moved in she had already planned her life for the coming year, she wanted to move back to Delhi by April next year and get married to a guy she had identified by winter 2010. I seriously thought that she not in the best frame of mind as she was missing her family while she was alone. Over time I learnt to appreciate the independence, luxury and the responsibility, demerits of living alone. With Nidhi coincidently there is a strange connection- we are the same person..upto 90% (10%- she is more motivated than me and has common sense!)... there are times when we both would think the same thing at the same time. The next one year saw me enjoying vegetarian food (and never missing non-vegetarian food), becoming better dressed and learning about the plumbing, electricity and other essential things in a house that has to be taken care of. With Nidhi came her band of friends who I really enjoyed having over or visiting and have had some real fun times. We both are chronic commentators, we have to pass a comment on anything on TV or movie hall. During our movie phase, every weekend we tagged a friend of hers T to the movie hall as a chaperon. Once in the movie hall, Nidhi and I would commence our running commentary on the movie while T would tell us to shut up! So much so we once ended up confessing that when either one of us is not home, we end up commenting to ourselves!!

April 2010- March gave me a tough time with work as I was putting upto 16 hours a day coupled with travel. With April came the appraisal and so I was in the ecstatic mood. I was hardly home, and could not really catch up on what was happening at Nidhi’s end. What I thought was a passing phase was actually a resolute decision. As destiny has planned out things along with concerted efforts from her end, Nidhi got a transfer to Delhi and her parents gladly agreed to her choice of guy - a news which I got when I returned home at half past 2 in the morning (it is really not the best time to break news which has a powerful impact!!). What then followed was a 3 night marathon bachelor party, the final one being on a MONDAY NIGHT at our favorite watering hole...Following day Nidhi was packed off to Delhi-lock stock and barrel.
Nidhi is getting married tomorrow. (slight change in plans by folks- wedding in winter 2010 has become wedding in summer 2010) I couldn’t have been happier for her. I am now on the hunt for a roommate. I hope it will not be difficult for the new person to step into Nidhi’s shoes. All the best for you life Nidhi and please look ravishing on ur D-day and after that too.

PS- April saw a low at the professional front- but I think 3 shots of watermelon juice has made me feel better.

April also saw 3 of my friends get engaged- I was pleasantly surprised by 2 and shocked beyond belief by 1. I wish you all patience and piece of mind while running amok organizing ur wedding.

April is also seeing my neighbors leave for far away place…Am I the only one with nothing worthwhile happening in my life!!!

…time to update the CV on linkedin!! :~P

Arranged Madness- I

So after eons I visited this l’il space of mine and saw that it is nearly ONE YEAR since I wrote anything. The reasons attributed for the absence are

1. Laziness


2. Long hours in office


3. Long hours sitting blank in meetings


4. Long hours dozing in flights


5. Laziness

Annie McBeal has been playing her part for nearly 2 years now. She has made some companies/individuals rich, her firm rich (a little) and herself also (reasonably) rich. In the process she has also driven lot many people mad with her queries, requisition lists and fast pace of talking. Now that there is (exponential ?!) growth on the professional end, it is time for growth on the personal end.

No bragging, my profession makes me spend all my waking hours at work. And there is no fixed time as to when the day begins or when the day ends. So with such work life imbalance (if I may say so), my luck with guys continues the way it was while I was in college or grad school. Over the last 2 years the scenario has been like this:

Scene 1- Ann meets people in a get together. Ann gets chatting with a guy.
Ann- ….hahaha..(trying to impress guy with her smile and fluttering eyelashes)…
Boy- its really nice talking to you….(phone rings)….ya baby…Sorry my girlfriend is calling…excuse me…be right back… K
They never come back!! :~

Scene 2- Ann works on a transaction where she gets into heated arguments with the other side lawyer. She then goes to a meeting, all charged up to bash up the lawyer. Meets the lawyer…he is a cute guy!!! And then has trouble acting aggressive in front of the cute guy. End result the deal closes, everyone is happy...Ann gets chatting with the cute guy… then her senior calls her into his cabin and says
Senior- Ann, remember the deal we did, well the clients are not on good terms now…we are gonna have tough time seeing them fight. You do understand what I am trying to convey, right?Ann- Yup! (storms out of the room)
Ann had to cut all ties with the cute guy!! :~(

With time (along with my youthful looks :P) running out, the stage is set for (drumrolls) *Arranged Marriage*

Arranged marriage as I see it is like entering into a joint venture arrangement. The parents carry a letter of intent (LOI), scouting for a suitable strategic partner for their child. Once an interested party is identified and the preliminary (commercial) points agreed upon, the parents and relatives do a due diligence on the prospective groom and bride. Instead of PwC or E&Y it is Kochuteresia ammai or Chackochayan who does the diligence check. Once the report prepared, disclosures made and risks estimated and understood, the parents decide to get the children to enter into a ‘formal’ arrangement in the parish church at 12:05 pm on a Sunday, followed by a sumptuous lunch in the parish hall or * hotel.

My family is presently in the LOI stage and preparation of this is NOT an easy task. My escapades in this arranged madness will be a regular feature here and don’t say I didn’t warn you.

First task is THE FOTO. The first impression is the best impression; irrespective of the fact that fotoshop did all the work. Softly lit background, woman (dressed in an outfit which she might never wear) standing with the support of a pillar and staring blankly in a direction which is NOT the direction of the camera. NOW THAT’S A MATRIMONIAL PIC!!! I look old’er’ and chubb‘ier’ in pose-y pics. Numerous explanations on the logic why a ‘normal everyday’ pic should be uploaded have fallen on deaf ears. Neither my folks nor I were ready to give up our stand. So we reached a compromise. I know have a formal posey pic taken- but my chubby cheeks and aging looks have been taken care of….here take a look!

Change is the only constant

The title aptly applies to my family. Over the years, with Dad's transferable job, we have moving lock stock and barrel every 2-5 years. Despite going through the same emotions everytime, the feeling is not nice when your home can be packed into a truck in 12 hours flat!

This time it is different. It may be the last move for Dad and Mum as he is retiring (unless i am rich enof to afford a home for them near mine or afford a home big enof to trouble them into living with me!). And i will not be moving.

Everything around me is changing- each day something 0r the other go... today the car is sold off, i will be forced out of home tomm, old books & papers will be sold off day after, the packers will be coming home to assess the furniture..blah blah blah...

Coming days will be exciting, trying and depressing too...and till such time i will be back to stress eating (i noticed i am gobbling up 2 sev puris a day and i jus cannot control my appetite)

(i shall patiently respond to all the comments once the brain is free. At present i have left it at home to do logistics for my shifting)

Home Sweet Home

[Warning- Long post ahead]

The past few days have had me waking up with a dream of Veliveed- my maternal ancestral house. With the superwoman talking abt Delhi-5 and Mathew’s antics at kudumbaprarthana, taking us on a trip down their memory lane, both of which I identify with, I thought I shall also follow suit.

Veliveed is thankfully not the family name but a name coined by my cousin J. Many years back when J’s was a cute little boy and shifting with his family he called the house which had Ammachi and Appachan and which was bigger- Veliyaveed and his house which was smaller as Kunjuveed. Soon the name shortened to became Veliveed and that became the official name of the ancestral house. Velliveed is very strategically located- on a slope with a graveyard on its right (meaning some of the neighbours were perennially (in high) spirits!).

Veliveed takes maximum space in my ‘childhood’ drive. Summer holidays for us was all about trying our best to reach there by April 14 which was Appachan’s birthdays. Going to Trichur was the best incentive to study hard for the exams and just get over with it. Once we reach Trichur railway station, one of Mum’s four brothers, sometimes joined by one of her 4 cousin brothers would be there to receive us. The usual blahs exchanged btw uncles and Chech & Me- ‘ooh englishkaarigal vannu’, ‘paandiigal koolichattu indalvilla’. But what I always looked forward to- was driving into the porch of Velliveed to find Appachan on his rocking chair (a gift which is still intact) and Ammachi standing by his side. The innumerable times I have gone there, the scene was the same. And that to me is the best reception one can get, because I believe that is a sign which shows that someone is waiting for u, rather than the normal knocking at a closed door.

Every room in Veliveed had a name- Office room (the drawing room which was over-maintained, if I cud say and where kids’ entry was banned), Appachan’s room, Appachan’s bathroom (which was not a pvt bathroom as the name might suggests), Appachan’s shaving room (which was actually a bedroom, but Appachan kept his ‘cosmetics’), kunjuroom(which served the purpose of an attic and was my fav room), veliyaroom (the master bedroom which every uncle used when he got married till the next uncle got married). The cupboards in Veeliveed had secrets of my Mum and uncles and aunts. Baby boots knit for my mother, Uncle R’s flowery shirts and bell bottom pants (he considered himself a hippie back in the 70s), Uncles S’s school uniform (which Ammachi was insistent that cousin J wear it when he joined the same school after 15 years), innumerable lemonade sets given as wedding gifts given to aunts and uncles, etc.

Veliveed also had some other characters whom I identify with that house- Anankuttycheduthi- a caretaker and the governess to all the 7 children and their children, Vaasettan (short for Vaasu chettan), Appachan’s trusted chauffer, Achamacheduthi- who came to do the laundry and Kurumba, who came home for lunch everyday as she had no family. Some interesting neighbors too- Major Uncle, Lucy Aunty (who has green fingers and could even revive a dead plant), Saramaunty and her son Hawkins Chettan! (yes that was his official name and I used to tease him by the popular brand)

With Appachans heart attack, the office was shifted to Veeliveed- a makeshift arrangement on the terrace. Once the business grew, the terrace was converted into the office. Slowly the uncles started moving out into their own little homes. After Appachans death, Ammachi moved in with my aunt to the old Kunjuveed. And we say the ‘tharavadu moves with Ammachi’ (like the aircraft US Prez Flies becomes Air Force One-remember the last dialogue in the movie Air Force One) So Kunjuveed is the ancestral home now.

The bigger business needed a bigger office and once temporary make shift office in the terrace took over the entire house. Veliveed is now, if I can call the ‘corporate office’ of my uncles’ business. Although I was personally not very happy about, I also do not look at my uncles with malice for taking this decision. Afterall I have no claim or entitlement to that property (showing off little legal knowledge..ha!)- but only memories.

The last time I visited Trichur, about 2 ½ years ago, I requested my uncle to take me to Velliveed (before it was converted to the office). Along with me was Ammachi, Mum, Aunt and her kids. Most of the things in the house were still intact. I picked up an old wall hanging- Ammachi said J uncle got it from Japan on his visit for a tournament. I picked up a lock- Ammachi said it was the basic form a number lock made about 30 years back. She then told me everything in this house has a story to tell and I could sense her sorrow, but being the practical woman she is, she doesn’t block business decisions. As a token of remembrance, I took my mother’s gold medal which decorated the ‘Office room showcase’ and a face of Christ, made out of welded metal.

I have not been to Kerala after that visit, but when I see the Christ hung on the wall of my present house (i.e when I am not thinking about sickness, exam results, job security etc) I am reminded of the times spent at Veeliveed.

Sometimes I wonder- Mum showed us her childhood, her life through our summer vacations in Veeliveed. But what will Chech show Iz?- Apartments in metro cities???

Resolutions

The year started with me at 62.5 kgs and it is ending on a bloated note too.

The year was an important one in my life- my LLM, my first job, my first business card, my one and only convocation and my one and only niece- Isabel (towards the end of the year).

This was the year of travel- UK, Netherlands, Germany, Brussels, France, Monte Carlo [was I at London School of Eco or Lets See Europe!!??!!!]

This is also the year where I saw nearly 50 % if my friends and all cousins younger than me get married and pregnant.

Next year i am hoping we will all come out 0f the financial crisis as stronger & humble individuals.

Till then to all my relatives, friends and acquaintences who are worrying abt my 'unmarried' status- "This is the year of recession and i am trying to cut costs. No unnecessary expenditure this year..."

A Happy, Healthy and Posperous New year to one and all....

Izz est arrivé

Baby Iz arrived today...
meaning my 'baby'-status at home has been snatched away from me...but Iz is someone for whom i was always ready to give up the status..

So presenting the new kid on the block....Ms Isabelle Jose (a.k.a Izzy/ Iz)......she sure seems like someone who is going to break the hearts of many young worthy men!!

PS: Iz and Eljo are doing good. thank u all of you for praying for them

When IZZZ she gonna come???

We will soon touch another milestone....

Chech supposedly feels like a jumbo jet. Chettan drinks cerelac-tini, served in a chilled glass [shaken not stirred]. Mommie dearest is now with Chech. Dad, otherwise anti-baby man, now acknowledges presence of other stranger babies who are next to him in public places. I am dreading the name i will be called [Aunty...aunty...aunty.....]. This blog turned pink be hoping it would be a girl....

Short point, we are all waiting for u Iz! :~D (praying for your safe landing)

The journey back home….

Yay 2 posts a day!!!!

Warning- verbal diarrhoea ahead!

I was progressively delaying this post and it just could not have been more ill-timed because it has been nearly 4 months since I am back home and 2 pay cheques down ($$$$$ :~D ). Some of my blog friends will by now be aware of the fact that I am terribly prone to trouble in the airport and this is the mother of all such situations!!!

4 months ago, as part of finishing my exams (and I am still praying for my results and I request all of you to do the same), my dearest Chech and Chettan decided to treat me with a trip to the French Riviera and yes the place is beautiful and I would love to marry a rich old man who has a villa in Nice (but full and half monty by old uncles/aunties is NOT fun!)

After 5 days of fun in the sun and a nice tanned look (read ‘karambi’ or ‘kaliya’ for the Malayalam challenged) it was time to head back to London and after a day of packing, back to India and my lease agreement with the uni residence was terminating the day after. Ordinarily, I wud take a flight out of Amsterdam and reach London in 2 hrs after munching on the boring oatmeal cookies that British Airways provides. This time, being my last trip to Amsterdam for sometime, the ill-famed adventurous side took over and I was choosing between a train or a FERRY!!(thank god the ferry idea didn’t materialise) Now Annie McBeal saved 50pounds (eer…it was her father who actually saved the money-sorry dad) and booked tickets on the Eurostar on their summer plan, thinking she can see the deep blue English Channel ala Singapore SeaWorld style!

Amsterdam

So journey began on a tram in Amsterdam, which Chettan and I caught after beating Usain Bolt’s Olympic record time. Hopping on the next train to Schipol was also at record time and it was the last train from Amsterdam that wud reach Brussels in time for my next train! The only time we were ever on time was to take the nice NS train to Brussels.

Belgium

Sitting in NS train Chettan and I discuss on topics ranging from worldly wisdom to mallu stardom, choosing between oysters or moules for lunch and salivating at the thought of it. At Brussels Zuid- happy-thinking-about-moules me gets up to find….TADA!!

A STOLEN BAG!!... so what!!

Eer..the bag had my passport, bank cards, college id, return to London tickets, clothes, postcards from Nice, my favourite skirt, fake brasil hawaiana chappals and my pen drive with lots of fotos. So how does it feel to be in a country without your identification documents? Very nice I say- because I still had a smaller bag in which I had my camera and ipod!!...

Hey Bag-flicker-dude u attacked the WRONG bag and the passenger next to me had a laptop in his bag.


Chettan and I are among the few priviledged citizen who have seen the interiors of the Indian Embassy, Brussels. At first, they laughed when I said I lost my passport and I don’t have a fotocopy of it either…I am Ann..please believe me. Then the google search on Indian government website happens and after 15 minutes the lady came out with a paper and started asking me questions-
1) What is ur name?- Ann Mcbeal
2) Spell ur father’s name- Za…… (my father has a name that is nt easy for most non malayalee or non-westerner to pronounce)

Passing that difficult exam, I ws given a certificate saying yes I am an Indian and YES India will take me back.

I guess all of u might have experienced this- sometimes it is in the worst times that u find ur dream fantasies coming true. Now everyone is aware of my extreme respect (*ahem) for men in uniform. So when u have the hottest-policeman-i-have-seen-till-date attending to ur case, u can understand why the FIR was drafted by me was in shoddy shape. Inspectuer Nick Noël, with the biceps ripping out of his uniform (he has a proportionate body mind u!), armed with a pistol in the holster and handcuffs on his belt and to top it all- a smooth talker and a charmer and genuinely good-looking…sigh! (I wished that things would go forward like Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves in Speed..but alas!

With a shoddy FIR in hand and leaving Nick Noel behind, we ran back to the embassy to be issued a passport hot from the lamination press at 1745 hrs (15 minutes before the embassy closed for the day)!....chood chood passport! All said and done, I needed to get back to the UK to pack my things and move out of Europe-but minor problem- No UK VISA!!!

For some strange reason the British peoples think that they have to sit in a secured fort-like the Tower of London in every other country and they call such forts- UK Embassy! To prevent any non-british person from seeking justice/mercy/kindness or showing anger/frustration before the embassy, it is secured by towering gates I am told. So all we can do is make a fone call on the next day –

Ann- “Hi, I am ann, I am a student in London, blah blah…bag…blah blah stolen…sniff..i need to get back to London to pack and leave London for good!..if delayed I will not have a place to stay in London ”
Embassy ‘helpline’(bull crap!) lady- “Give me your number and I will tell the embassy to get back in touch with u”
Ann- “WHAT!!!...okay thank u so much for ur help”

With no call in the next 60 minutes, came brother-in-law’s last attempt at sending me across the English Channel- We reach the Eurostar counter and the UK Immigration Border and stage our Academy Award winning performance. So moved were they by our acting that the immigration lawyer gave me a 2 month UK visa and Eurostar gave me a free ride on the ticket which expired. (The cost of the ticket was 350 pounds on the day of my travel!!!)

London

Soon I was on the train to London, sitting next to a political journalist writing about Communism. And then the tunnel came- time for SeaWorld-ish view. But what I saw was a dark tunnel for 20 long minutes!!! The next 16 hours were spent clearing out my bank accounts, returning library books, packing everything and moving lock, stock and barrel out of Covent Garden to Heathrow. The 17th hour I was back on the India bound flight enjoying chicken tikka.

Ab Mumbai door nahi….

Points to note:
1) Always keep fotocopies of ur travel docs in all ur bags and with some close relative and soft copies too.
2) If stolen, after getting a passport try to ask the airways if anything (other than getting a new visa) can be done when transiting through countries.
3) The Europeans are quite understanding when u have a genuine cause.
4) Nick Noel is still my fantasy man. I even tried looking up for him on facebook (sheeesh!).
5) The UK Embassy at Brussels have still not contacted me.
6) It was not nice being stuck in Belgium without a visa to go to London or closer still Amsterdam.
7) If I had taken the flight out, I would not have had this trouble but may be some other trouble.
8) During our mad running around, I cursed the bag-flicker-dude, saying may his days from now be bad- to which Chettan replied- ever since he flicked ur bag his worst days have anyway began- WHY?- the bag mostly had only soiled clothes!!!
9) Had it not been for Chettan and the his company’s Brussels team, may be by now I would have been married to a Belgian and making waffles and frites in Grote Markt for a living. Thank you all of you.
10) If anyone of u sees an Indian woman on a ‘magazine’ in any of ‘the’ shops in Brussels or Playboy (if I am lucky) please do notify me- my pen drive had a back up copy of all my fotos. [u can compare the mag cover with my pic on the side of the blog]
11) Nick Noel….sigh!

Red Light Management

* title courtesy AJ's firm's new project

Dear youngster-on-the-pulsar-near-portuguese-church-at-10:45, 4/10/2008.

Sometimes there are many things in life that are more important than waiting at the red light. Dude that light wasn’t put there so that some men and women can solicit business under it at night. It has a purpose and that is to save your life and the lives of everyone around. Today morning u couldn’t wait for 3 minutes to get a green signal. Had my cab not been 5 seconds late, any/all of us could have been injured/dead or worse crippled for life. I know u r smart enough to know that my cab was approaching late, but sometimes things don’t go as planned. One of your drunk friends has already run into a friend of mine last week and he is already stitched up and hence I am pissed off with ur kind especially today. Hope u will pay some heed to this…

Regards
Girl-in-cab-in-the-opposite-direction

[After learning what happened to Alexis Leon a.k.a Alex Chettan, red-light-jumpers, as I call them, make me want to chain them up to a red light without food or water]

Week 1-3 Excitment to Dejection

Week 1-3

The excitement of the new job has waned away..these days I only feel stupid…I correct my previous statement- I no longer want to ‘prove my worth’ but just want to know WHAT am I supposed to do and HOW!!???!!!

Sitting in a dejected mood after failing the 3,4, 5th senior in office and most importantly MYSELF :~( :~(

A ray of optimism- hope these days will soon be over...

Annie McBeal Vol II.

I hit myself hard on the back of my head for not paying any attention to this littal space of mine. I have lots to tell...from 'jurisdictional' adventures in Europe to domestic mishaps at home. But for now i am back to my Ann McBeal avtaar- the lawyer lost in a corporate firm, sitting among men speaking in corporate jargons (i am the only other female lawyer in the place :~O, the other feminine touch is a senior with truckloads of knowledge and experience). The expectations from me are high because of the 9 month vacation i had in london and at a personal level- a huge challenge to prove my worth..so once again i take the liberty to ignore this space till i get some spare time (backslap myself again!).

PS I cannot say 'miss me' because i presume by now u have all 'forgotten' me!!
Cheers.....

Fruit of the Womb

I wanted to write a big bang comeback post or something on the lines of London in hindsight (yes dear peeps I am back in India, it has been over 2 weeks- how I reached is reserved for another post), but recently some news and something I saw flabbergasted me, that I decided to write this.


During the few catechism classes I ever attended in my life and the quick 3 minute family prayer we have at home, I always liked a particular line of ‘Hail Mary’ which goes as follow-
‘Blessed are you amongst women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb Jesus’.
Since we pray faster than most Grammy winning rap artists, I thought we were referring to some fruit in the form of a fruit salad rather! It was during another long boring Sunday sermon in church that I opened the hymn book to read what the line actually meant-‘oh JESUS is the fruit!! How unexciting!’ (I was aged 8 then)


Unlike most women who fantasise being pregnant (I know a few of them, so please don’t think I am bull s***ting), child birth has always scared me and it still does. Reasons I don’t know, may be because my first visuals of labour was on Discovery Channel and not Indian movies (where the lady is goes into heavy labour just when her water breaks!) or I read a book on pregnancy before the time was right (it was the only book lying in the loo, sitting there can also bore u). I never really understood wat was so ‘miraculous’ about birth.


Four months back I got news that Chech and Chettan are on their way to make me feel older by making me an aunt. So I kept asking her so does her skin ‘glow’ and is she looking her best, like a huge jumbo jet. Much to my surprise, she, Chettan and me had a paunch of the same size!!! (UK size 14 to be precise) and abt her skin glowing- that was courtesy the humid weather. She herself saying Malaika Arora Khan can say she is looking her best cause she capable of doing nothing other than visiting spas. So wats is the whole deal abt pregnancy, never understood me.


On coming back I got news that Mum was scheduled for a hysterectomy in less than 48 hours (talk abt surprises when u get home- but no I didn’t react like an Ekta Kapoor heroine cause this was expected some day or the other for Mum). She is doing much better and recouping well, thank u very much (after all I am taking care of her!!) After her surgery, a male nurse, with a bottle resembling the Horlick 1kg bottle on tray, emerged out of the OT walking around as if he was a waiter in Sarvana Bhavan serving masala dosa to someone!! In the bottle, swimming in red solution was a fist size ‘thing’, which Dad said was Mum’s UTERUS!!!! My reaction at that point was WHAT THE HELL I LIVED IN THAT FIST SIZED ‘THING’!!! THAT WAS MY FIRST ROOM!!

I manage to get surprised at the thought of that sight even today. After the whole episode my Mum went at great length to explain the entire childbirth process (a little late- cause cousins younger than me are mothers of 1 and 2 year olds and the ‘conception’ part was avoided like every Indian mum! :~P) May be this is the whole ‘miracle’ of birth- not just 2 cells merging with enough data in them to create a whole to life (not just the ‘fun’ part peeps :~P), but how a fist sized organ expands to accommodate some of us who are around 3 kgs at birth, how we hv an egg shaped head at childbirth and how most of us manage to come out the ‘tiny’ hole.


But that still hasn’t reduced my fear of child-birth or have my bawling at the first pics of Baby Eljo (courtesy ultrasound of course- I couldn’t understand anything). Rather to put it in malayam- to think I was once the ‘fruit of a womb (which is sooo small!!)’ njaan sherikum wonder adichu poyi!!

PS busy with mum and dissertation...pliss to be missing me!!

PPS this is in response to Brat's comment- it is not that i lack sex education-i was a bio student, but then practicals is lot different from theory and hence wonder adichu poyi!

Quirkys!

Just when i finish my first exam i turned PINGGKK.....
and i get a tag!!!..YAYYY!!! Thank u boy!
(okie so i also watched Sex and the City-movie cause everyone went on and on abt it and all i found was 4 women sitting around food[although all of them are in perfect shape!!] talking abt sex or lack of it!!! Sigh-for all that media hype!)

The "rules":
Link the person(s) who tagged you- Brrrraaaattt!!!
Mention the rules on your blog
Mention 6 unspectacular quirks of yours
Tag 6 bloggers by linking them
Leave a comment on each of the tagged bloggers' blogs letting them know they've been tagged -

1) I need to wash my feet before i sleep and my feet have to be WET when i get into bed!!...(this practice is avoided in Delhi winters where houses do not have radiators)

2) I am over-superstitious during my exams (i guess all of us to an extent are)- this expecially includes not bathing for 48 hours before the exam (i feel i will wash away the crammed up knowledge) and not going to a parlour/saloon for normal clean-ups (in maletalk-thats equivalent to not shaving the entire exam period starting from study holidays) ending up in people seeing only eyebrows on my face on the last day.

3) I need go through my notes atleast 3 times before i head for the exams (otherwise i feel terribly underconfident till i see the question paper) and i am competitve and i am seriously trying to control this.

4) I apply ghee on my hair..yes yes ghee!!..(and it actually works!! although i smell like Sree Krishna Mysore Pak till it is washed)

5) I am an 'extremes' person, if i like a song i will listen it on loop till i delete that song from the computer, if i like something i will eat it till i cant bear to look at it again and the nice flavours will soon be 'odours' :~$

6) I always need to have something to look forward to- some experiment, some randon trip This motivates me (yes i am incentive driven)..current idea is to see the seven wonders of the world over a span of few years (ofcourse) especially Christ the Redeemer (but i know that will have to wait for a loong loong time)

I have no one to tag as all my blog-neighbours have already been tagged :~(

eeh...did i mention that i am impulsive and just recently picked up the scissors and cut my hair just like my sister (i had to get some leftover curly bits). its not that bad..i think i have to apply to toni n guy...hmmmm.....

To market to market....

Okay yeah i know i have my exams..and this is not my big bang comeback post...but today i am celebrating cause i just wrote a

mock exam and felt good that i could do it. With the exam adrenaline rush, i got into one of my infamous 'adventure' moods

and just left college and headed for Borough Market why because there lived the one character i identify the most in my life- Bridget Jones!!! The place is fiercely expensive (because they are Orrrragahnic!!! or award-winning!!... But me still loves the place...)

Things go fine till i explore the place...
(Ann's thoughts- Aah i can buy these cherries..What the hell i jus paid 2 pounds on 10 '0'

cherries...sigh!..wat can i get for Mum- balsamic vinegar...no..she wont like it- when she

hears the cost!!)

It is lunch time and ....then my adventurous evil twin takes over....
On the lunch menu today is Ostrich Burger and Brazillian Wheatgrass Juice....

(Ann's thoughts- "Wheat grass juice..one shot is a equal to a weeks' greens!!!...Wow i jus ate an ostrich..it aint bad..in fact its actually good....hmm now i jus need to lose 10 kgs to ride on one...")

[Note- me knows me need a manicure..that too a french one, will get tat done soon!! Chech are u listening..err.reading!!]

Post lunch back in my room...

Ann's thoughts- (Aaaarrggg!!!..if only i could puke out this thing...it is making me so SICK!!!....[flush]...aaah watte relief!!! i HATE ostrich!!!)

PS- But i did get my mum the 'finest vanilla pod' from Madagascar ..now to think of all the vanilla ice-creams i am gonna eat:~P

Blog Break...

Spring is in season...i am in amsterdam, finally learned to travel around this place on my own...visited some lovely fishing and windmill villages, met one of the best tattooist in amsterdam and realised wat a down-to-earth woman she is, was hit at by a middle-aged indian uncle in the sex museum (now i am hardly the kinds who gets a 'look' from a guy, forget even a second look...and wen i do manage to get lucky, its a 35 yr old man and watte choice of location!!!)...was comfortably lazing around with Mum n Dad in town...and then i saw my study materials and passed out...!!!..So a blog break taken to do the much needed studying as exams are jus 2 months away!!!..See u all in sometime....hoping to remain sane by then...hopefully will have cleared my exams too....Cheers...

(PS: if i scrap or ping anyone of u please remind me to study :~()

30 FAQs About Ann

(Dear Brat ur tag is a little difficult for me to do. So i am doing the easy one first)
(I am very bad with my hyperlink-ings due to lack of patience..so please excuse that too...)

So the Bachelor Ambrosia tagged me (yay!!) but unlike wat he expected i was not the first person to do it [njaan demand vechatu alla- karthik had done it by the time i saw this tag ;~) ] After this tag i presume my selfish, quirky nature will be revealed to all :~(

1. LAST MOVIE YOU SAW IN A THEATER:
I dont remember precisely. I think it was Dhoom 2 as part of the last college 'outing'. I remember being the only girl in the hall cheering with the guys when bipasha made her grand bikini entry. (i am straight-just was shocked at seeing her from flab to fab in that movie)


2. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING?
'Societas Europaea' by D. Kraakmann. (Yes Kraakmann thats the name of the author-prolly thats the effect the subject had on him) Too busy with syallbus textbooks to pick up anything else. :~(


3. FAVORITE BOARD GAME?
Snake n ladder and ludo (the ones which had the games on either side of the board). Scrabble n chess required brain activity so avoided them.


4. FAVORITE MAGAZINE?
Nothing in particular as it depends on which magazine is available at the reception where i am waiting. However i would love to feature on the cover of Forbes and Time. (I will need plastic surgery for the Cosmo or Elle or Vogue cover)


5. FAVORITE SMELLS?
Being the foodie that i am i love the smell of onions cooking :~) Also like the smells of shoe polish and orange rind.


6. FAVORITE SOUNDS?
These days i like the sound of Dad's caller tone cause i know i am calling home. Else sound of breaking glass (yes i am weird) and the hissing sound made when water touches a hot surface...


7. WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD?
When i realise how much time i have wasted (I am feeling so right now too :~P)


8. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE?
I actually say this- "F$#@ i am late again!!!" or "Jus half an hour more...zzzz....zzzz" followed by "F$#@ i am late again!!!"


9. FAVORITE FAST FOOD PLACE?
Natraj Dahi Bhalla Centre in Chandini Chowk, Delhi. In London, the 4 kebab shops in Leicester Square.


10. FUTURE CHILD'S NAME?
Being a true blue malayalee, it will be a nonsensical mix of my name and that of the child's father's. Since i do not know the latter's name, i will have to skip this question. But i can assure u that the name will not have a meaning..it will only be a 'sound' (like jiji, liji)


11. FINISH THIS STATEMENT. "IF I HAD A LOT OF MONEY I'D...?
Get Mum enrolled in some gourmet cooking classes across Europe (Dad can enjoy post retirement bliss with Mum in all these countries) and enroll myself in Pineapple Dance Academy [they r so damn expensive :~(] All this after investing a major chunk of the money as per Dad's advice, so it better be LOTS of MONEY [PS- Mother Teresa is not my role model and this is no beauty pagent]


12. DO YOU DRIVE FAST?
Only wen dear Balbir bhaiya was present and we were on a national highway. Its over a year i touched the steering wheel. :~(


13. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL?
No. Was/Is too much of a tomboy to do so.


14. STORMS-COOL OR SCARY?
Would have been cool if they didnt wreck everything on their way.


15. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR?
I m still a stingy student, so no car yet. Though the first one driven was the maruti 800 with a pair of clutch and break, one for the driving instructor and one for me.


16. FAVORITE DRINK?
Totally depends on my mood. All time favourite is Banta from Chandini Chowk. (Lemonade with the goli kuppi soda and a special masala) The dirty water and unhygenic surrounding made it taste better.


17. FINISH THIS STATEMENT, "IF I HAD THE TIME I WOULD
Pursue dance once again, learn a new language....


18. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS ON BROCCOLI?NO!!!
Yes. But would try and avoid eating this vegetable given a choice.


19. IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOR, WHAT WOULD BE YOUR CHOICE?
After bronze, blonde and orange streaks and a perm my hair is not ready for another experiment. But as the question says "IF"- then it wud have to be Neon Red streaks. (I like solid, jango colors)


20. NAME ALL THE DIFFERENT CITIES/TOWNS YOU HAVE LIVED IN.
Trichur, Alwaye, Madras, Bombay, Ernakulam, New Delhi, Chennai, Delhi, Mumbai, London, Amsterdam (I have spend 1/3rd of my time here)


21. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
The only thing i ever watched on ESPN was All State Cheerleading Championship!!


22. ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU.
Great culinary skills (that make me jealous :~D )


23. WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED?
Hollow space- jus like my head


24. WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE BORN AS YOURSELF AGAIN?
Yes..but as a more patient and organised person.


25. MORNING PERSON, OR NIGHT OWL?
Flexible.


26. OVER EASY, OR SUNNY SIDE UP?
Either as per the mood.


27. FAVORITE PLACE TO RELAX?
A bed anywhere warm and cozy. Relaxing for me = Sleeping


28. FAVORITE PIE?
Apple pie which Mum makes cause thats the only 'margarine-free' pie i am aware of and she also puts raisins in it-jus the way i like it. Occassionally Xmas Mince pie.


29. FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR?
Mum's pineapple ice-cream. Ever since in London, Ben and Jerry Cookie Dough.

[My mother's culinary skills is every child's fantasy come true. For a middle-aged malayalee mother she makes a variety of continental desserts. She will be receiving her third Michelin star this year :~D So dont think i am blah-blah-ing when i say "Mum's apple pie", "Mum's ice-cream". She even makes the cleanest, unadulterated chocolate truffle and cheese cake too :~P]


30. OF ALL THE PEOPLE YOU TAGGED THIS TO, WHO'S MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND FIRST? Hopefully Mac...


And this tag goes to..

Macadamia- The Nut (I dont know ur name :~( )

Brat- Bharat

Aishwarya- Aishwarya

Farsan- Maneesh

Dgrail- Dhivya

Zenmaster- Arvind

Alex Mcone (i dont know ur name either)

Fitness Freak Me.... :~D

After the bicycle misadventure, I was ordered 2 weeks rest and complete pamper by the cute Doctor Bakshi at NHS. Now thats the perfect advice for a couch potah-to like me. It was complete binge time..sometimes eating upto 4 meals a day and the midnight snacking too. But the wildest ideas strike you in those 'pampered' moments. After finishing 'another' pack of crisps I limped carefully to the mirror and saw to my horror that all what i shed a month back (850 grams to be precise ;~D) was back with a vengence!! So I checked out some pics of the good old 'slimmer' days, my mum's and sister's pics and made myself feel miserable. Finally resolved to take charge of the situation. In a nutshell my new fixation is FITNESS.

At this point I must confess that like everyone I am extremely jealous of people who wear spandex and jog for an hour at a stretch. I am very fond of fitness programmes (which i watch while munching on french fries). And though extremely ashamed to accept this, it was just two years back when I was training to be dance instructor (can i hear guffaws..it is the truth people..but the 100 crunches EVERYDAY killed me, so dropped it midway).

Now gym membership was out of question as university gym always has a long serpentine queue behind it (I am embarrased to jog in front of those 6pack abs students). So friend and I sign ourselves up for advanced aerobics and we see that a guy named Mark is taking the session. Accordingly friend goes shopping for chic sports wear as she has this 'gut' feeling that Mark will be hot! (a GUY taking aerobics!!! dearest friend MEN dont take 'AEROBICS' generally)

Due to a missing-key-mishap from yours truly, we reach the building just in time. The class was supposed to be in 'studio 1', but we ran into 'a studio' where we saw a few students warming up (this is after we nearly took a short cut through a Shower Room, which ended up being the Mens shower room-friends idea!). To my horror, some girls I knew from my hall were also present in their sexy spandex flexing their toned muscles (the world is indeed a SMALL place!!! aargh!) Suddenly the music is pumped up, a woman (who i am believe is German for some reason) tells everyone to pick up weights. Now we were only expecting aerobics, where we just jump around and we were expecting MARK...where the hell is MARK?? On enquiring with the girls from the hall on whether it is the advanced aerobics class- i get the reply..'What aerobics??? ' Before we could react, the instructor shouts- 'quick pick up your weights...we have no time to lose'. That is the first time i was shouted at in London!!!

What happened after that is ...(Instructor with stern look and foul mood)

We begin with simple squats....yeah come on 5 more..I WANT 5 MORE SQUATS...now squats with weights....go pick the rod with weight and lets do squats AGAIN...go LOWERRR....complete your squat..next slow squats...all you lazy bones...move it people move it....hey dont drink water.....and 4..3..2..1...hey where do u think you r going...we now do lunges...come on give me 30 on each leg..get moving people, stop faking cramps!!!....next pick your weights...lunges again.....okay..are we done with 30 on each leg...now go get your mats...i want 20 crunches in each position..NO RESTING in between....lets begin... NOORRRMMAALLLLL....now cross leg.....18...19...20...have u finished your 20 so soon...do another 20.. next side crunches...hey stop looking tired..now i want 20 pushups...and go slow......everyone stop being lazy...lets jog!!!...okay 45 minutes...STOP!!!"

What a relief. The next 15 minutes saw friend and me walking back to our rooms taking the support of the walls of every building in the way. We were still clueless of what that bootcamp class was all about, but were too tired to think for the night. Next day morning saw our bottoms, flabby 'abs' and thunder thighs sore (now sore is an understatement) and I still need support to sit, stand and even use the WC!!(have i ever told u that i am an aquaholic...groan!) The suspense was killing me, so went after college to figure out what was it that I underwent....and now the moment of truth...We had walked into the wrong class and the class we attended was aptly called...

BUMS TUMS and THIGHS!!!!

(Ouch!)

On a nice August afternoon 3 years ago….

“Ok..so he is a CA very good…Christian…Roman Catholic..oh even better..so where is he working…oh IT company..hmmmm….not bad…ooh yes yes we know their relatives..very good people….but wait they are from from…WHAT!!...HE IS FROM KOTTAYAM!!!”

……..engaged tone……………


That was how the Big J entered our lives. A father’s second worst fear was coming true when he heard about a marriage proposal for his daughter from the Kottayam side* (the first being marrying a non mallu and/or non roman catholic). So much was Dad’s shock that he didn’t bother to ask the groom’s name or enquire about his family in that call!!! It has been over three years since u entered our lives ‘by law’ and have changed my sister’s and my sense of humour for the worse. Winning the hearts of all the ammachis with your ‘stuti kudukal’**, all the uncles by thrusting a drink in their hand and all the aunties by giving them compliments. And today I am using the ‘power of the internet’ to wish on your birthday cause next year u r officially going to be in ‘old’ men’s league!!!

Happy Birthday Dear Chettan….

Thank you*** for all the sensible advise on life and relations, all the Amsterdam trips, all the expensive shopping, all the confidence boosting sessions, all the ‘how-to-hook-a-guy’ lectures, all the pub hopping and ‘drink all nite’ outings, all the new words in my Malayalam vocabulary, all the ‘places’ I wanted to visit for my desire to be a ‘learned’ person (tho I am still no good)…and thank you for being a BROTHER and not just another BROTHER-IN-LAW….

(* no offence against the Kottayam dudes and dudettes, just another one of Dad’s pet peeves)
(** a Malayalee Christian style of greeting elders which is now not ‘cool’ enough for most of us to follow)
(*** half of the ‘thank you’ applies to your better half too)